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The chart below showd the annual number of rentals and sales of films from particular store between 2002 and 2011. v.1

The chart below showd the annual number of rentals and sales of films from particular store between 2002 and 2011. v. 1
The demand of foods has risen due to a growing population. Therefore, Some GM supporters believe that governments ought to increase the production of GM food. The essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of this suggestion and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of GM foods are to provide cheap price and to add extra essential nutritions. Firstly, the costs of productions are much lower than traditional farming so people are able to afford some basic commodities, such as rice and bread. Because of this biotech advance, it is possible to alleviate the problem of hunger worldwide. Secondly, food can be modified in order to add extra essential nutritions, such as protein and fibre, which also be given more flavour and a better texture. As a result, not only do GM foods prevent the problem of starvation, but also provide much healthier ingredients. However, GM foods also have its drawbacks like a treat of the environment and an influence on human health. The numbers of GM food factories may produce greenhouse gases, which pollutes the air and eventually contributes to global warming. Also, no one knows exactly what the effect of GM food will be in the long term. If people eat too many genetically modified foods in their daily lives, it will be likely to eventually affect human's organisms adversely. As a consequence, humans cannot completely reply on GM food to tackle an overpopulation issue as it has some negative impacts. In conclusion, although GM foods can reduce people's costs of living and help them to absorb sufficient nutritions, people should take into account the environment and prevent overeating GM foods.
The demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
has risen due to a growing population.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
GM supporters believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought to increase the production of GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of this suggestion and provide a logical conclusion.

The two main advantages of GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
extra essential
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
.
Firstly
, the costs of productions are much lower than traditional farming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to afford
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic commodities, such as rice and bread.
Because of this
biotech advance, it is possible to alleviate the problem of hunger worldwide.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
be modified
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
extra essential
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
, such as protein and
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibre' is British English.
fibre
, which
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
and a better texture.
As a result
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the problem of starvation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide much healthier ingredients.

However
, GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
also
have its drawbacks like a treat of the environment and an influence on human health. The numbers of GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
factories may produce greenhouse gases, which pollutes the air and
eventually
contributes to global warming.
Also
, no one knows exactly what the effect of GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will be in the long term. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eat too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
genetically
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it will be likely to
eventually
affect
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human organisms"?
human's organisms
adversely
. As a consequence, humans cannot completely reply on GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to tackle an overpopulation issue as it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.

In conclusion
, although GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's costs of living and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to absorb sufficient
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should take into account the environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
overeating GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below showd the annual number of rentals and sales of films from particular store between 2002 and 2011. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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