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You recently visited a store to repair your computer but they couldn't fix it, write a letter to the store manager and say, - what was the problem with your computer? - What happened in the store? - What do you want them to do about it? v.1

You recently visited a store to repair your computer but they couldn't fix it, write a letter to the store manager and say, - what was the problem with your computer? - What happened in the store? - What do you want them to do about it? v. 1
Over the last two decades, the world which we live has seen a significant change's due to environmental degradation, high population. Also, the education is not exception to add in these changes. If the same pattern continues, then the world would be facing many problems in the next ten years. In this essay, let's discuss some of the issues and what measures required to overcome such issues. To begin with, the environment has drastically changed in the name of development. The firms releasing toxic/populated waste to the lakes because of this water getting populated. Furthermore, some industries releasing dangerous yellow gases into the air and air polluted. Consequently, heart related diseases has increased. Furthermore, usage of plastic is raised and plastic takes around hundred years to dissolve in the ground. Due to plastic usage, other cancer diseases are prone to affect the human species in the coming ten years. Moving further, population is increased tremendously and food crisis is started occurring in some of the regions and this crisis will increase more in the next ten years. For instance, the survey made by US suggested that in Uganda because of nutrition defects only 90% of the children causing fatal diseases. Moreover, we will be seeing a dramatic change in the education, nowadays, only three countries providing free education to the children. In the upcoming decade education will not be free and education will become one of the expensive things for people. To overcome from the above mentioned problems, the government should arrange a committee and educate the people. The government should own the industries and control measures need to take care to save the environment. Population can be controlled by motivating the people about the merits of having a small family. To conclude, there is no problem without a solution. There are many ways to have a healthy and prosperous living in the coming ten years, but necessary measures need to be in place.
Over the last two decades, the world which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
's due to environmental degradation, high population.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not exception to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. If the same pattern continues, then the world would be facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in the
next
ten years. In this essay,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
issues and what measures required to overcome such issues.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the environment has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the name of development. The firms releasing toxic/populated waste to the lakes
because of this
water getting populated.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industries releasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
yellow gases into the air and air polluted.
Consequently
, heart related diseases has increased.
Furthermore
, usage of plastic
is raised
and plastic takes around hundred years to dissolve in the ground. Due to plastic usage, other cancer diseases are prone to affect the human species in the coming ten years.

Moving
further
, population
is increased
tremendously
and food crisis is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
occurring in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
regions and this crisis will increase more in the
next
ten years.
For instance
, the survey made by US suggested that in Uganda
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of nutrition defects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
90% of the children causing fatal diseases.
Moreover
, we will be seeing a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three countries providing free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the children. In the upcoming decade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will not be free and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will become one of the expensive things for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To overcome from the above mentioned problems, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should arrange a committee and educate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
the industries and control measures need to take care to save the environment. Population can
be controlled
by motivating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the merits of having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family.
To conclude
, there is no problem without a solution. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to have a healthy and prosperous living in the coming ten years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
necessary measures need to be in place.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You recently visited a store to repair your computer but they couldn't fix it, write a letter to the store manager and say, - what was the problem with your computer? - What happened in the store? - What do you want them to do about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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