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You recently visited a store to repair your computer but they couldn't fix it, write a letter to the store manager and say, - what was the problem with your computer? - What happened in the store? - What do you want them to do about it? v.2

You recently visited a store to repair your computer but they couldn't fix it, write a letter to the store manager and say, - what was the problem with your computer? - What happened in the store? - What do you want them to do about it? v. 2
Dear Manager, I' m writing to tell you that last day I visited your store to repair my computer that I bought from your shop and still under guarantee. Two days ago, I turned it on everything was working properly, suddenly a blue screen appeared and kept restarting, that’s why I brought it back to your store. I clarified the problem to one of your employees, after checking from his side, the issue appeared again and nothing he can do. I left the laptop at your shop for diagnosing the matter. I would like to know if the issue repaired. If the pc needs a fresh windows installation, I prefer to exchange to a new desktop since it still within the warranty. Thanks for taking these notes into consideration and expecting a feedback from your side as soon as possible. Sincerely Yours,
Dear Manager,

Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that last day I visited your store to repair my computer that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from your shop and
still
under guarantee.

Two days ago, I turned it on everything was working
properly
,
suddenly
a blue screen appeared and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
restarting, that’s why I brought it back to your store.

I clarified the problem to one of your employees, after checking from his side, the issue appeared again and nothing he can do. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the laptop at your shop for diagnosing the matter.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to know if the issue repaired. If the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
needs a fresh windows installation, I prefer to exchange to a new desktop since it
still
within the warranty.

Thanks for taking these notes into consideration and expecting a feedback from your side as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Sincerely
Yours,
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay You recently visited a store to repair your computer but they couldn't fix it, write a letter to the store manager and say, - what was the problem with your computer? - What happened in the store? - What do you want them to do about it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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