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The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010. v.2

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010. v. 2
There is a contentious debate over whether longer jail sentence is the best solution to decline the rate of crime or there are other better measures. This essay will look at both sides of the argument, and then I will give my own perspective. On the one hand, people believe that the best way to decrease crime is pose stricter punishment like longer prison sentences. The main reason for believing this is because this phenomenon can create fear in the criminal’s mind. It poses a threat to the offenders to lose their freedom, and lose their relatives a long period of time. Consequently, it plays a vital role in cautious consideration before committing crime. On the other hand, it is possible to say that there are better alternative measures to reduce crime. The culprits that contribute to this assertion are education and occupation. Main causes leading to commit crimes are lack of knowledge, skills, jobs and money. As a result, providing proper education facilities and employee opportunities can solve the issue far more effectively. For example, at school, the head master can launch some campaigns to scope widen knowledge about laws of students to avoid commit offends. Moreover, the government should reinforce jobs opportunities or vocational courses to support criminals after releasing from prison to avoid re-offenders. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their own merits. However, on balance, I feel that education and employee chances are better solution to decline the percentage of crime because it makes a significant contribution to enhance awareness of people avoiding crime.
There is a contentious debate over whether longer jail sentence is the best solution to decline the rate of
crime
or there are other better measures. This essay will look at both sides of the argument, and then I will give my
own
perspective.

On the one hand,
people
believe that the best way to decrease
crime
is pose stricter punishment like longer prison sentences. The main reason for believing this is
because
this phenomenon can create fear in the criminal’s mind. It poses a threat to the offenders to lose their freedom, and lose their relatives a long period of time.
Consequently
, it plays a vital role in cautious consideration
before
committing crime.

On the other hand
, it is possible to say that there are better alternative measures to
reduce
crime
. The culprits that contribute to this assertion are education and occupation. Main causes leading to commit
crimes
are lack of knowledge,
skills
, jobs and money.
As a result
, providing proper education facilities and employee opportunities can solve the issue far more
effectively
.
For example
, at school, the head master can launch
some
campaigns to scope widen knowledge about laws of students to avoid commit offends.
Moreover
, the
government
should reinforce jobs opportunities or vocational courses to support criminals after releasing from prison to avoid re-offenders.

In conclusion
, both sides of the argument have their
own
merits.
However
, on balance, I feel that education and employee chances are better solution to decline the percentage of
crime
because
it
makes
a significant contribution to enhance awareness of
people
avoiding
crime
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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