Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The chart below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.
These days, many freshers, as well as experienced employee, struggle a lot for the job. While some think that the best option is often to keep the job changing, I, however, agree with those who think that the best choice is to remain in the same job throughout life. On the one hand, it is argued that the benefits of changing the work often a better choice rather than being in the same occupation. It is believed that the major reason for shifting the work is getting higher pay in a new firm. For instance, in a survey conducted in Mumbai found that 52% of employees frequently opt for a new company due to having a higher salary. Moreover, it is said that the foremost reason why changing the job frequently found to be beneficial is it provides a long-term career growth, resulting in facing new challenges and become great leader or manager in the new company. On the other hand, I would argue that sticking to one company for the entire life is advantageous in many ways. Firstly, in my opinion, it gives a sense of satisfaction in terms of becoming a manager or director in the company. It is true that any person who remains in the same firm for more than ten years always found to be in the position of manager, who leads or supervises the team under them. I believe that the major benefit they will get is the feeling of pride at the time of retirement. It is found that most companies always provide great send-off to those employees who spent their entire life, which is the greatest achievement in the life of that employee. In conclusion, although it is undeniable that a majority of workers change the job in order to get hefty salary and growth in the career, being in the same firm for the whole life not only does it give the status of leader but also the great memory and a sense of pride at the time of retirement. Therefore, on balance, I believe that one person should work in the same organization for their entire life.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
freshers,
as well
as experienced employee, struggle a lot for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best option is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
changing, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best choice is to remain in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
throughout life.

On the one hand, it
is argued
that the benefits of changing the work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a better choice
rather
than being in the same occupation. It
is believed
that the major reason for shifting the work is getting higher pay in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
firm.
For instance
, in a survey conducted in Mumbai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
that 52% of employees
frequently
opt for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
due to having a higher salary.
Moreover
, it
is said
that the foremost reason why changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
to be beneficial is it provides a long-term career growth, resulting in facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
challenges and become great leader or manager in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the other hand
, I would argue that sticking to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is advantageous in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Firstly
, in my opinion, it gives a sense of satisfaction in terms of becoming a manager or director in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. It is true that any person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
remains in the same firm for more than ten years always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
to be in the position of manager,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
leads or supervises the team under them. I believe that the major benefit they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
is the feeling of pride at the time of retirement. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
always provide great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
-off to those employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spent their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which is the greatest achievement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of that employee.

In conclusion
, although it is undeniable that a majority of workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hefty salary and growth in the career, being in the same firm for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it give the status of leader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the great memory and a sense of pride at the time of retirement.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe that one person should work in the same organization for their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts