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The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this, decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be ma v.1

The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this, decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be ma v. 1
There is an active debate in society these days where some believe that the death sentence is required given the increase in harsh crimes, while others suggest that there are other means should be approached to curb this issue. This essay agrees with the former because the fear of ultimate punishment can surely discourage people from committing such crimes. This essay shall discuss both the points of view. Ending a criminal’s existence in response to some offences is necessary to uphold justice in our community. There are many misdeeds that are so heinous in nature like rape and murder that those can only be met with the extreme response of the law. I agree with this logic because this set an example in the society that murderers or rapist cannot get away with ruining someone's life. The scare of dying impedes people to commit such acts and thereby makes our surroundings a safer place to live in. For example, Saudi Arabia has been able to decrease the count of murders and rape to a great extent due to the extreme punishment in place. Some fractions of the public recommend an alternative approach like a good upbringing of the children to stop the growing numbers of the illegal activities. Their argument is that if a child is given righteous teachings and if he or she is taught to love, respect and tolerate other people, the child grows up to become an upstanding citizen of the community and do not get involved in wrongdoings. I say that no parent imparts negative ideas to their child. Thus although the approach has its own merits, it does not promise us a crime-free world. For instance, a recent study has shown that almost 60% of the prisoners in Rich county jail had very well educated parents with a clear rap sheet. To summarize, there are some acts of inhumanity that can be curbed by putting in place the most extreme form of retaliation by law like the capital punishment. But to make sure that it does not reach to that, parents should inculcate good values in their children from their early childhood days. In my opinion, taking a life is still fair and a lawfully required step to ensure a better society.
There is an active debate in society these
It is better to use 'days' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "days when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
days where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the death sentence
is required
"required given" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try "given" or "to be given".
given
the increase in harsh crimes, while others suggest that there are other means should
be approached
to curb this issue. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the former
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the fear of ultimate punishment can
surely
discourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing such crimes. This essay shall discuss both the points of view.

Ending a criminal’s existence in response to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
is necessary to uphold justice in our community. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
misdeeds that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
heinous in nature like rape and murder that
Did you mean "this can" or "those cans"?
those can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be met
with the extreme response of the law. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this logic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this set an example in the society that murderers or rapist cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away with ruining someone's life. The scare of dying impedes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to commit such acts and thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our surroundings a safer place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
For example
, Saudi Arabia has been able to decrease the count of murders and rape to a great extent due to the extreme punishment in place.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
fractions of the public recommend an alternative approach like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
upbringing of the children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the growing numbers of the illegal activities. Their argument is that if a child is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
righteous teachings and if he or she
is taught
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, respect and tolerate other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the child grows up to become an upstanding citizen of the community and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in wrongdoings. I say that no parent imparts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to their child.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
although the approach has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits, it does not promise us a crime-free world.
For instance
, a recent study has shown that almost 60% of the prisoners in Rich county jail had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
parents with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
rap sheet.

To summarize
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
acts of inhumanity that can
be curbed
by putting in place the most extreme form of retaliation by law like the capital punishment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that it does not reach to that, parents should inculcate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values in their children from their early childhood days. In my opinion, taking a life is
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and a
lawfully
required step to ensure a better society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this, decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be ma v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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