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Some students prefer to choose a career before getting into college. Other students prefer to choose a career after taking some university courses in college. Which one do you prefer and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your response. v.2

Some students prefer to choose a career before getting into college. Other students prefer to choose a career after taking some university courses in college. Which one do you prefer and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your response. v. 2
In this contemporary era, online lectures are becoming popular among the students. Some people opine that presentation for a large number of students in an auditorium is much less efficient than to compare online teaching. I partially disagree with this notion. Despite numerous benefits, there are considerable drawbacks to the traditional way of teaching. Leaning online is the most efficient, and students can learn with animated examples. Firstly, learning lectures through online is accessible from every nook and corner of the world. It is undeniable that not everyone could afford to attend a class that happens on the other continent. However, with the advancement of technology, we can watch it from anywhere. For example, every year, tech giants such as Apple and Google conduct their presentation in live streaming because they would like to reach the information all around the world. Besides this, we can watch online lectures at a convenient time. We can allocate our watch time based on certain irrefutable situations. Therefore, online classes are easier to access and favourable. However, there are few drawbacks with online technology. Primarily, leaning from the online would not give any efficient communication. Interacting with students is mandatory to clarify their doubts and problems. To illustrate, according to the recent research of Oxford University, students who learn from the auditorium give a better result than online students because they are could able to clarify their doubts in between the lectures. Secondarily, the internet could go down at any time. Even in this modern world, most people suffering from the lack of internet signal issues as a result of this, they likely to lose their classes. To conclude, although people have the option to access lecture from anywhere and watch later record facility, there are small drawbacks like non-interaction classes and the internet signal problems.
In this contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
are becoming popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that presentation for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in an auditorium is much less efficient than to compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
teaching. I
partially
disagree with this notion. Despite numerous benefits, there are considerable drawbacks to the traditional way of teaching.

Leaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is the most efficient, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn with animated examples.
Firstly
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is accessible from every nook and corner of the world. It is undeniable that not everyone could afford to attend a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
that happens on the other continent.
However
, with the advancement of technology, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it from anywhere.
For example
, every year, tech giants such as Apple and Google conduct their presentation in
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would like to reach the information all around the world.
Besides
this, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
at a convenient time. We can allocate our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
time based on certain irrefutable situations.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes are easier to access and
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
.

However
, there are few drawbacks with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
technology.
Primarily
, leaning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
would not give any efficient communication. Interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is mandatory to clarify their doubts and problems. To illustrate, according to the recent research of Oxford University,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who learn from the auditorium give a better result than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
Did you mean "could be able"?
could able
to clarify their doubts in between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
.
Secondarily
, the internet could go down at any time. Even in this modern world, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from the lack of internet signal issues
as a result
of this, they likely to lose their classes.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the option to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
from anywhere and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
later record facility, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
drawbacks like non-interaction classes and the internet signal problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students prefer to choose a career before getting into college. Other students prefer to choose a career after taking some university courses in college. Which one do you prefer and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your response. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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