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The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one-third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. What effects will the predictions have in developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation? v.2

The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one-third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. What effects will the predictions have in developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation? v. 2
It is predicted that the natality of most advanced countries will drop in the next 50 years. It is forecasted that by the end of 2030, more than 30% of the population in those countries will be aged 65 and above. The following essay will discuss what will happen if the prediction is true, and some of the solutions that can be done immediately to address the issue. Many experts are predicting that in the next 50 years about one-third of the people in developed countries will be the elderly generation. For a number of reasons, the ageing population and scarcity of working class population will become a serious problem for those countries. Firstly, they will face a lack of productive people problem which is important for economic development. With the shortage of productive labourers and professionals, it will be difficult for them to boost the economic sector, as factories will face difficulties in recruiting productive workers. Secondly, as the number of the senior people will be increasing each year, it means that the government will be spending more. The government will need additional funds for their pension plan, retirement house and medication facilities. Consequently, the government might increase the tax rate which will become a burden for the young generation. There are some soluble solutions that governments could consider to prevent the negative consequences of this issue. One of them is that by providing additional facilities for their residents to have children at an earlier age. It is a fact that most of the people in advanced countries have children in their late thirties or early forties. By having children in their mid-twenties, it will shorten the time gap between the senior and the young people. Another solution is by giving subsidies and tax exemptions for families that have young children. It is hoped that it will trigger families to have more children in their young age. Lastly, these countries could also accept young and productive immigrants from other countries who are qualified and well educated. Many advanced countries have done this, such as Australia, New Zealand and Canada and the immigrants have had a positive impact on the economic growth of these countries. In conclusion, many people are predicting that most developed countries will face ageing problem in the future. It is obvious that the ageing problem might become a serious treat for them, especially in their economic sectors and in the social formation. However, there are some solutions that governments could consider, and some of them are by persuading their people to have more children in the young age and accepting qualified immigrants from other countries.
It
is predicted
that the
natality
of most advanced
countries
will drop in the
next
50 years. It
is forecasted
that by the
end
of 2030, more than 30% of the population in those
countries
will
be aged
65 and above. The following essay will discuss what will happen if the prediction is true, and
some of the
solutions
that can
be done
immediately to address the issue.

Many
experts are predicting that in the
next
50 years about one-third of the
people
in developed
countries
will be the elderly generation. For a number of reasons, the
ageing
population and scarcity of working
class
population will become a serious
problem
for those
countries
.
Firstly
, they will face a lack of
productive
people
problem
which is
important
for
economic
development. With the shortage of
productive
labourers
and professionals, it will be difficult for them to boost the
economic
sector, as factories will face difficulties in recruiting
productive
workers.
Secondly
, as the number of the senior
people
will be increasing each year, it means that the
government
will be spending more. The
government
will need additional funds for their pension plan, retirement
house
and medication facilities.
Consequently
, the
government
might increase the tax rate which will become a burden for the
young
generation.

There are
some
soluble
solutions
that
governments
could consider to
prevent
the
negative
consequences of this issue. One of them is that by providing additional facilities for their residents to have
children
at an earlier age. It is a fact that most of the
people
in advanced
countries
have
children
in their late thirties or early forties. By having
children
in their mid-twenties, it will shorten the time gap between the senior and the
young
people
. Another
solution
is by giving subsidies and tax exemptions for families that have
young
children
. It
is hoped
that it will trigger families to have more
children
in their
young
age.
Lastly
, these
countries
could
also
accept
young
and
productive
immigrants from other
countries
who
are qualified
and
well educated
.
Many
advanced
countries
have done this, such as Australia, New Zealand and Canada and the immigrants have had a
positive
impact on the
economic
growth of these countries.

In conclusion
,
many
people
are predicting that most developed
countries
will face
ageing
problem
in the future. It is obvious that the
ageing
problem
might become a serious treat for them,
especially
in their
economic
sectors and in the social formation.
However
, there are
some
solutions
that
governments
could consider, and
some
of them are by persuading their
people
to have more
children
in the
young
age and accepting qualified immigrants from other
countries
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one-third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. What effects will the predictions have in developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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