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The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.4

The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 4
While there is no doubt that the younger generations are the economic backbone of any country, it is predicted that most developed countries are going to experience a drop in birth rates over the coming 50 years with people aged 65 and more contributing to one-third of the population. In this essay, I am going to discuss the effects of this on the developed countries and suggest possible solutions to deal with it. Firstly, a decline in the births could result in a lower working community. This is because over time lower births could result in very few people in the age bracket of 20 to 50, which is the most employed age group by any employer. Moreover, this could lead to a decline in economic output. For example, most physically challenging works, such as construction work cannot be carried out by the people aged more than 60 as they require both physically and mentally strong workers. The solution for this can be to encourage young international citizens an opportunity to settle in the country. This result of this can be an increase in the working population and thus driving countries economic growth. Secondly, Lack of younger generation could result in fewer innovations. The reason for this being that in old age the brain might not function as well as it used to when a person was young. For instance, Many businesses employ younger age groups in their research and product development because of their innovative and imaginative powers, whereas seniors are restricted to mostly decision making roles. Furthermore, lack of innovations can result in a predictable and boring world. The answer to this problem can be to encourage more births by ensuring free education and health care incentives for the children. This can result in more births and over time can lead to an increase in younger population thus driving the nation's economic growth. To conclude, lower birth rates can result in a decline in the economy and fewer innovations. I believe that the government is responsible to increase the birth rate by considering the solutions mentioned.
While there is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
backbone of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it
is predicted
that most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are going to experience a drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
rates over the coming 50 years with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 65 and more contributing to one-third of the population. In this essay, I am going to discuss the effects of this on the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and suggest possible solutions to deal with it.

Firstly
, a decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in a lower working community. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
over time lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
bracket of 20 to 50, which is the most employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group by any employer.
Moreover
, this could lead to a decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
output.
For example
, most
physically
challenging works, such as construction work cannot
be carried
out by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged more than 60 as they require both
physically
and mentally strong workers. The solution for this can be to encourage young international citizens an opportunity to settle in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of this can be an increase in the working population and
thus
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth.

Secondly
, Lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in fewer innovations. The reason for this being that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
the brain might not function
as well
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to when a person was young.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
businesses employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups in their research and product development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their innovative and imaginative powers, whereas seniors
are restricted
to
mostly
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
roles.
Furthermore
, lack of innovations can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in a predictable and boring world. The answer to this problem can be to encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
by ensuring free education and health care incentives for the children. This can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
and over time can lead to an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
population
thus
driving the nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth.

To conclude
, lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
rates can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in a decline in the economy and fewer innovations. I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is responsible to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
rate by considering the solutions mentioned.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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