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The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation v. 1
Culture is the way of life of a particular set of people and it is believed by some that the most effective method of understanding other cultures is by working for an international organization. However, I completely disagree with this view because they are several other ways to get accustomed to other cultures which includes; learning from the internet and migration. To begin, I tend to disagree that the most preferable way to understanding a new culture is working for an international organization because most organizations have an official language that is being spoken. Although many people hail from different countries to work in these kind of companies, yet it is almost always basically for official purpose and there may not be time for social activities. Hence, the language spoken and mode of dressing might have to be official as well, therefore, this is likely not to give maximum opportunity to learn other important aspects of culture one is interested in. For this reason, not possibly is this the best method of getting accustomed to other cultures. Nevertheless, I believe that the internet is a better means of learning other culture. One can easily browse the internet, search for and get useful information about the culture to be understood; language, food, dressing and other non-material aspect. Furthermore, the use of the social media sites such as WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram, to mention a few, could also be beneficial. Easy will it be to find and make friends with foreign citizens, chat with them and get useful and detailed information about all aspects of their culture. By and large, this is one easy way of learning and understand other cultures. Finally, my most compelling argument is to immerse and acclimatize oneself in a foreign country and this can be achieved through migration. With this, one would be able to learn evidently and adjust fully to the new environment and culture being learned. This is possibly the best way of learning a foreign culture. In conclusion although working for a multinational establishment could expose one to learning a foreign language, I strongly believe that it is not such an effective method as perusing the internet and social media sites to source for information or getting fully acclimatized in the foreign country through migration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
is the way of life of a particular set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the most effective method of understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
is by working for an international organization.
However
, I completely disagree with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which includes;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from the internet and migration.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, I tend to disagree that the most preferable way to understanding a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is working for an international organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most organizations have an official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that is
being spoken
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hail from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries to work in
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
yet
it is almost always
basically
for official purpose and there may not be time for social activities.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
spoken and mode of dressing might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be official
as well
,
therefore
, this is likely not to give maximum opportunity to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
one
is interested
in.
For this reason
, not
possibly
is this the best method of getting accustomed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.

Nevertheless
, I believe that the internet is a better means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. One can
easily
browse the internet, search for and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
useful information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to
be understood
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, food, dressing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
non-material aspect.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the social media sites such as WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram, to mention a few, could
also
be beneficial. Easy will it be to find and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
citizens, chat with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
useful and detailed information about all aspects of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. By and large, this is one easy way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.

Finally
, my most compelling argument is to immerse and acclimatize oneself in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country and this can
be achieved
through migration. With this, one would be able to learn
evidently
and adjust
fully
to the new environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
being learned
. This is
possibly
the best way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
culture.

In conclusion
although working for a multinational establishment could expose one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I
strongly
believe that it is not such an effective method as perusing the internet and social media sites to source for information or getting
fully
acclimatized in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country through migration.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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