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Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing? v.1

Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing? v. 1
It is often argued, that most of couples are paying an enourmous amout of money to cover the expenses of their wedding day. In my opinion, I believe that it is more advantageous to spend the money on either more valuable items or to save them, rather than spending all of the couple savings in one night. To beging with, it is commonly known that with marriage comes along various responsibilities and the rates of expenses gradually increase. In other words, the majority of people choose to withdraw personal loans pay for their wedding ceremony. Hence, they will start their new life with a vast debt, where they will be obliged to to overwok themselves to cover their debt leaving no time for a couple to spend together. As a result, a tension will arise leading some couple to either seperate or divorce. Moreover, a royal wedding does not have to be expensive to be considered lovely, therefore, the bride and the groom should do their researches to figure out a smar method to divide their money wisely. To state this in other terms, being cautious in choosing packages for a wedding, can save tons of dollars. Consequently, a couple can spend their savings not only on a ceremony but also on their honeymoon that they will always remember and cherish. For instance, a bride can choose flowers found in the current season, instead of choosing to import them. This they will be saving half of the price of flower packages. In conclusion, it is undediable that a lovely wedding will be satisfying both the groom and the bride. However, reasonable and smart choices will not only lead for a healthier furture but also more memories and places to spend the money.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued, that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
are paying an
Possible spelling mistake found.
enourmous
Possible spelling mistake found.
amout
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cover the expenses of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
day. In my opinion, I believe that it is more advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on either more valuable items or to save them,
rather
than spending
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
savings in one night.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
beging
with, it is
commonly
known that with marriage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along various responsibilities and the rates of expenses
gradually
increase.
In other words
, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to withdraw personal loans pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremony.
Hence
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their new life with a vast debt, where they will
be obliged
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
Possible spelling mistake found.
overwok
themselves to cover their debt leaving no time for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
together.
As a result
, a tension will arise leading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
to either
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperate
or divorce.

Moreover
, a royal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be expensive to
be considered
lovely,
therefore
, the bride and the groom should do their researches to figure out a
Possible spelling mistake found.
smar
method to divide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
. To state this in other terms, being cautious in choosing packages for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
, can save tons of dollars.
Consequently
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their savings not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on a ceremony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on their honeymoon that they will always remember and cherish.
For instance
, a bride can choose flowers found in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
season,
instead
of choosing to import them. This they will be saving half of the price of flower packages.

In conclusion
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undediable
that a lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
will be satisfying both the groom and the bride.
However
, reasonable and smart choices will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead for a healthier
Possible spelling mistake found.
furture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
more memories and places to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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