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The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. v. 1
It is undeniable that multinational company increases globally day by day and people prefer to work under this organisation rather than a national company, this helps an employee to explore others work and social culture. I completely agree with the statement that to interpret other culture it is best to be work for a multinational company. I will discuss in detail in the following paragraphs. Firstly, if people work under multinational companies they would know better about their peer culture who is working from different countries. As their holidays will be different from ours, in this way we get to know their festivals name and how they use to celebrate. Moreover, people have always a curiosity to know more about other festivals and go in-depth to find the reasons behind to celebrate. For instance, if an employee working in India and his company headquartered in the US, he gets to know all the major festivals which are celebrating in the US such as Halloween, Thanksgiving as these are public holidays for their nation. Secondly, people learn others work environment when they are working in outsourcing companies. For example, in US employee paid hourly while in India there is fixed paid nine hours per day either a person work full time or not. Furthermore, a person can get an idea about demanding skills in other nations if his peers in other countries. And this helps a person when he is planning to move that particular country for work or living purpose. In a nutshell, I agreed that people would perceive others culture and traditions when they have been worked under multinational companies.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
increases globally day by day and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under this
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
rather
than a national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
an employee to explore others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that to interpret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
it is best to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. I will discuss in detail in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
better about their peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
who is working from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. As their holidays will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from ours, in this way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
their festivals name and how they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
celebrate.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always a curiosity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
festivals and go in-depth to find the reasons behind to celebrate.
For instance
, if an employee working in India and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
headquartered in the US, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
all the major festivals which are celebrating in the US such as Halloween, Thanksgiving as these are public holidays for their nation.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment when they are working in outsourcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
For example
, in US employee paid hourly while in India there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
paid nine hours per day either a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
full time or not.
Furthermore
, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about demanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations if his peers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries. And this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person when he is planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
that particular country for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or living purpose.

In a nutshell, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would perceive others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions when they have
been worked
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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