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The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation v. 3
Exploring global cultures opens up new avenues to the world. One way to achieve this is by working for a multinational organization. This essay introduces my point of view and why I disagree with the statement. Firstly, Multicultural organizations expose a person to various cultures. Here, the primary objectives of the company are not aligned with the personal goals of learning new traditions. So, the whole process of learning becomes a by-product and thus can never be in-depth. On the contrary, Travelling is one of the best ways to get acquainted with new traditions. Because one is likely to explore and learn in a number of ways than learned in offices. Organizational ethics may limit the amount of information sharing, especially related to locality or community. To add on to it, there is a conflict of speech, which can alter the message communicated. Secondly, While travelling personal touch is evident. Traveller connects with locals and understands the community with a personal touch. This not only makes the journey memorable but, makes it more educating. For Example, when most vegan foreigners visit India are surprised by the fact that around 40% of Indians prefer vegetarian food. Our perspective on new beliefs is opened up by travelling. Furthermore, this process could be faster by means of learning and speaking the local language. A recent study by Mumbai University exclaims that tourists with minimal local linguistic capability learn a lot than the other ones. In conclusion, I would opine that Travelling is a far better way to understand another culture rather than working in a multinational organization.
Exploring global cultures opens up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
avenues to the world. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to achieve this is by working for a multinational organization. This essay introduces my point of view and why I disagree with the statement.

Firstly
, Multicultural organizations expose a person to various cultures. Here, the primary objectives of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
are not aligned with the personal goals of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
traditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the whole process of learning becomes a by-product and
thus
can never be in-depth.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
is one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
traditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
one is likely to explore and learn in a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
than learned in offices. Organizational ethics may limit the amount of information sharing,
especially
related to locality or community. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on to it, there is a conflict of speech, which can alter the message communicated.

Secondly
, While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
personal touch is evident.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Traveller
connects with locals and understands the community with a personal touch. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the journey memorable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more educating.
For Example
, when most vegan foreigners visit India
are surprised
by the fact that around 40% of Indians prefer vegetarian food. Our perspective on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
beliefs
is opened
up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
Furthermore
, this process could be faster by means of learning and speaking the local language. A recent study by Mumbai University exclaims that tourists with minimal local linguistic capability learn a lot than the other ones.

In conclusion
, I would opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
is a far better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to understand another culture
rather
than working in a multinational organization.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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