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Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree or disagree. v.1

Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. v. 1
Workers can be motivated to work by giving them longer breaks. I believe that although the high performance could be attained with adequate leave entitlement at work, yet it must be with certain limits. This essay will first discuss the policy of enough holidays are important to enhance job satisfaction and performance and then discuss why it important to maintain leaves within certain period. To begin with, the contentment among employees will increase, as they can enjoy the sufficient long breaks from the office work. An employed person at average works 9-5 and has little time to relax and enjoy which will eventually create resentment and de-motivation. If employed individuals get enough time to relax, they feel contented and work with more dedication and determination. Consequently, the company will achieve the desired outlook and goals. For instance, according to survey concluded by Apple Inc, the high salaries and better positions do not alone give work satisfaction, enough annual holidays are also included in it. However, it can be ignored that extended off days from the work will cost a lot to company’s business and country’s economy. The provision of long leaves will be ineffective, if workers are at holding important position, such as, Judges in courtroom and consultant in offices. Another aspect of taking long leaves is that it becomes difficult for workers to concentrate on work after a long discontinuation in work routine. They cannot evade themselves from the period of enjoyment and relaxation, and thus it took time to adapt to work environment. In conclusion, I believe that although the better work performance and productivity of staff member cannot be ensured unless enough holidays are provided, long holidays could have negative impacts. Therefore, it is important to set them within some reasonable limits.
Workers can
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by giving them longer breaks. I believe that although the high performance could
be attained
with adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
entitlement at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
yet
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be with certain limits. This essay will
first
discuss the policy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to enhance job satisfaction and performance and then discuss why
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
within certain period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the contentment among employees will increase, as they can enjoy the sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
breaks from the office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. An employed person at average works 9-5 and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time to relax and enjoy which will
eventually
create resentment and
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-motivation
. If employed individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
time to relax, they feel contented and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with more dedication and determination.
Consequently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will achieve the desired outlook and goals.
For instance
, according to survey concluded by Apple Inc, the high salaries and better positions do not alone give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
satisfaction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are
also
included in it.

However
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that extended off days from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will cost a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s business and country’s economy. The provision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
will be ineffective, if workers are at holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
position, such as, Judges in courtroom and consultant in offices. Another aspect of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
is that it becomes difficult for workers to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
discontinuation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
routine. They cannot evade themselves from the period of enjoyment and relaxation, and
thus
it took time to adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.

In conclusion
, I believe that although the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance and productivity of staff member cannot
be ensured
unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are provided
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
Therefore
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to set them within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable limits.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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