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Some people think that one of the ways to solve environmental problems is to increase price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people think that one of the ways to solve environmental problems is to increase price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 1
It is a thought conceived by some that one of the solutions to detrimental issues of the environment is to inflate the cost of automobile fuel. However, while I believe that the inflation of petroleum price could help curb environmental problems, other ways like, the prohibition of deforestation, could also prove useful. To begin with, the impact of increased vehicular fuel on the environment could have clear advantages. For one, the hike in the pricing of petroleum products would discourage the use of vehicles that depends on them, consequently, oil refineries that are the major pulluters of the atmosphere would be forced with low patronage leading to their closure. For another, the increase in fuel price would reduce road congestion because people would be forced to walk, whereas, without the inflation of fuel prices people would drive their cars. For example, two-third of the America citizens have cars, causing serious road traffic and more travel time. Hence, for these reasons, it is clear that an upward review of the fuel prices would result in an environment rid of pollution. In addition, the prohibition of deforestation could improve the environmental condition in many ways. Firstly, the preservation of the countryside and all the variety of plant species there rather than its destruction for the building of factories, houses and power plants would be a solution to environmental problems. Secondly, since plant absorbes carbon dioxide and produces oxygen, it should be protected in order to clean the environment from the fumes that automobile produces. For instance, in Brazil, large portions of rainforests are secured so that the plant revitalizes the air quality. Thus, from here, it is clear that deforestation could mitigate environmental problems. To conclude, inflating the price of fuel for cars would solve the environmental problems, also, I believe that the ban of deforestation would be productive. Globally the forests should be preserved in order to have a future clean environment.
It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
conceived by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that one of the solutions to detrimental issues of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is to inflate the cost of automobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.
However
, while I believe that the inflation of petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems, other ways like, the prohibition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
, could
also
prove useful.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the impact of increased vehicular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advantages. For one, the hike in the pricing of petroleum products would discourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of vehicles that depends on them,
consequently
, oil refineries that are the major
Possible spelling mistake found.
pulluters
of the atmosphere would
be forced
with low patronage leading to their closure. For another, the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
road congestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
be forced
to walk, whereas, without the inflation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would drive their cars.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
For
example, two-third of the America citizens have cars, causing serious road traffic and more travel time.
Hence
, for these reasons, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that an upward review of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
would result in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
rid of pollution.

In addition
, the prohibition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
condition in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Firstly
, the preservation of the countryside and all the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species there
rather
than its destruction for the building of factories,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
would be a solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.
Secondly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
Possible spelling mistake found.
absorbes
carbon dioxide and produces oxygen, it should
be protected
in order to clean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
from the fumes that automobile produces.
For instance
, in Brazil, large portions of rainforests
are secured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
revitalizes the air quality.
Thus
, from here, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
could mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.

To conclude
, inflating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
for cars would solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems,
also
, I believe that the ban of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
would be productive. Globally the forests should
be preserved
in order to have a future clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that one of the ways to solve environmental problems is to increase price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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