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The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. v. 2
There is no doubt that today the multinational companies provide a better future. Some people consider this to be an excellent source of intercultural exchange, however, I partially agree with them, as there are other alternatives as well. In this essay, I will highlight how such companies along with some other techniques can educate us related to foreign customs. To commence with, the individuals, who work in MNCs, are given real time targets, because of which they may lack creating some bond with employees from other countries. Moreover if they do so either by hook or crook, then also they would never be able to understand their tradition in the depth. For example, an Indian native working with these agencies, along with some US citizens, could know about what Halloween is, but can never know the ancient history associated with it. In contrast, travel and tourism are the measures to this menace. A person who travels to other nations often hires a local guide, and have ample time to know the deep rooted culture of that place. On the other hand, not completely, but humans are given an opportunity to come across lives from other nations, they can learn languages more quickly. For instance, an Indian folk working with a Canadian can learn french, if frequently used. Additionally, these franchises may plan short trips to vacation destinations, so one need not to pay for local guides to attain knowledge regarding ancient customs, only fellow mates are enough. In conclusion, the multinational companies cannot provide an essential exposure, mandatory to inculcate new customs. Therefore it is clear that this idea for the latter being a good source of cultural exchange cannot be supported, despite, it is predicted that some other measures like travelling to foreign countries could be more beneficial along with this
There is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide a better future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider this to be an excellent source of intercultural exchange,
however
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them, as there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternatives
as well
. In this essay, I will highlight how such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
techniques can educate us related to foreign customs.

To commence with, the individuals, who work in
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNCs
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
real time targets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they may lack creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bond with employees from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
if they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
either by hook or crook, then
also
they would never be able to understand their tradition in the depth.
For example
, an Indian native working with these agencies, along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
US citizens, could know about what Halloween is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can never know the ancient history associated with it.
In contrast
, travel and tourism are the measures to this menace. A person who travels to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
hires a local guide, and have ample time to know the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
deep rooted
culture of that place.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, not completely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
humans are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations, they can learn languages more
quickly
.
For instance
, an Indian folk working with a Canadian can learn
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
, if
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Additionally
, these franchises may plan short trips to vacation destinations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one need not
Did you mean "pay"?
to pay
for local guides to attain knowledge regarding ancient customs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fellow mates are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

In conclusion
, the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
cannot provide an essential exposure, mandatory to inculcate new customs.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for the latter being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of cultural exchange cannot
be supported
, despite, it
is predicted
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures like travelling to foreign countries could be more beneficial along with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
this
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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