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Some people say that Government should break down all the historic building and replace them with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people say that Government should break down all the historic building and replace them with modern buildings. v. 2
Some contemporary style lovers debate about tearing down the old heritage monuments versus the people who support preserving the old structures. My opinion coincides with the latter community, because protecting the aboriginals strengthen the roots of the nation and promote tourism as well. In the current epoch, only 5% infrastructure is centuries old, that provide the sense of belongingness and depict the history of our ancestors. These monuments illustrate the whole picture of a nation from past to present like its destitution, struggle, good or bad times and much more. In India, for example, Jaliyan Wala Bagh still has the footprints of the bullets, which remind the nation of the massacre during the independence struggle. Needless to say, it instills the young generation with motivation, that they should not let go the sacrifice of their forefathers in vain and strive hard to make society better. Heritage attracts a lot of travellers from all around the world. Tourists who are interested in the history and love to explore new places or have an affinity towards the antiques often visit these places. Take the Tajmahal, one of the seven wonders of the world, as a case study. People from different parts of the world visit India to see its beauty. Besides, their visit to such places can not only contribute to earning chances for the locals, but also improve the foreign reserve of the government. Hence, these historic buildings also contribute to the economy and improve employment opportunities. In conclusion, demolishing the historic structure and transforming them into the latest fashion has been argued for long. I, firmly oppose the destroying of the ancient structures, as it not only intact the connection with ancestors, but also assist localities in earning their livings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
contemporary style lovers debate about tearing down the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
heritage monuments versus the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who support preserving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
structures. My opinion coincides with the latter community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
protecting the aboriginals strengthen the roots of the nation and promote tourism
as well
.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
epoch,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% infrastructure is centuries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, that provide the sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
belongingness
and depict the history of our ancestors. These monuments illustrate the whole picture of a nation from past to present like its destitution, struggle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
times and much more. In India,
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaliyan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wala
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bagh
still
has the footprints of the bullets, which remind the nation of the massacre during the independence struggle. Needless to say, it instills the young generation with motivation, that they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
go the sacrifice of their forefathers in vain and strive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society better.

Heritage attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
from all around the world. Tourists who
are interested
in the history and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore new places or have an affinity towards the antiques
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit these places. Take the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tajmahal
, one of the seven wonders of the world, as a case study.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world visit India to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its beauty.
Besides
, their visit to such places can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contribute to earning chances for the locals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the foreign reserve of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Hence
, these historic buildings
also
contribute to the economy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
employment opportunities.

In conclusion
, demolishing the historic structure and transforming them into the latest fashion has
been argued
for long. I,
firmly
oppose the destroying of the ancient structures, as it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
intact the connection with ancestors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assist localities in earning their livings.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people say that Government should break down all the historic building and replace them with modern buildings. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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