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It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. v. 1
More than 40 years ago, Lance Armstrong had the first human steps on a moon surface. Although some people consider that money spend on space research is useless, I still believe this is a positive development of the world Those the non-supported space research believe that this money should be used on some vital public services like health service, road or education. It’s clear to see that these public services have a direct effect on almost citizen in the country. For example, many governments don’t spend enough money on building the hospital, so poor people of this country can’t receive a standard service for their health. Similarly, a lot of rural children can’t go to study as a normal student because of the lack of the school situation. There is no doubt that if the government ignore some basic public service to invest money for space research, many criticisms will have happened. On the other hand, this is not mean that space research is a waste of money. We have to find out the alternative planet for Earth in the near future and space research is the best solution. There are many reasons to do this mission. Firstly, a growing population has been becoming a global problem. Many developing countries must against the overpopulation without any effective solution. It also causes the uncontrollable immigration situation in developed countries. Not only that, nowadays, almost European countries fall to a lack of energy problem. As a result, many citizens in France, Germany. . . will suffer a cold winter without gas or coal to warming. Therefore, we have to discover an alternative planet as soon as possible. In conclusion, it is evident that some achievements in space research are big steps of mankind. If the governments can invest money to explore new planets in the right way, we can continue to enjoy the benefits that this research offers
More than 40 years ago, Lance Armstrong had the
first
human steps on a moon surface. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is useless, I
still
believe this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world


Those the non-supported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vital public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
like health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, road or education. It’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that these public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
have a direct effect on almost citizen in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
don’t spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on building the hospital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can’t receive a standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for their health.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
rural children can’t go to study as a normal student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of the school situation. There is no doubt that if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criticisms will have happened.

On the other hand
, this is not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find out the alternative planet for Earth in the near future and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is the best solution. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to do this mission.
Firstly
, a growing population has been becoming a global problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
against the overpopulation without any effective solution. It
also
causes the uncontrollable immigration situation in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, nowadays, almost European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
fall to a lack of energy problem.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens in France, Germany.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
will
suffer a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
winter without gas or coal to warming.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
discover an alternative planet as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

In conclusion
, it is evident that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
achievements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
steps of mankind. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to explore new planets in the right way, we can continue to enjoy the benefits that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
offers
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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