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The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. v. 2
Artificially intelligent robots are substituting humans in carrying out almost all kinds of jobs. Although the possibility of machines replacing humans is quite high, however, there would still be some jobs that might require the presence of humans. This essay will discuss why some jobs cannot be done by robots and will be dependent on human beings. In recent years, advancement in technology has increased to such an extent that all the common jobs that do not require constant human interactions will be performed by robots instead of humans. Many companies will prefer using a machine rather than investing time in hiring and polishing a human employee. In many customer service departments, for instance, employees have been replaced by chatbots that operate on artificial intelligence and provide solutions to the queries of the clients. For these reasons, most of the human beings might get replaced with robots. On the other hand, there still are a few instances that cannot be done without human labour as robots will never have the aptitude to do them. In simple words, the jobs require a 'human touch'. Take medicine, for example, In the diagnosis, the robot cannot accurately make a diagnosis. Even with the advancement in technology in the medical field, there is no machine that is intelligent enough to carry out the functions of the doctor. Thus, although the machines are taking over most of the human functions, there are some of the functions which the machine cannot perform. To conclude, It is most likely that most of the humans will lose their jobs because of machines. In my opinion, the work that does not demand human skills will eventually be done by robots; however, complicated jobs that require human-specific abilities will always exist
Artificially
intelligent robots are substituting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in carrying out almost all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Although the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is quite high,
however
, there would
still
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This essay will discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
cannot
be done
by robots and will be dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

In recent years, advancement in technology has increased to such an extent that all the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interactions will
be performed
by robots
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will prefer using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
rather
than investing time in hiring and polishing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
employee. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customer service departments,
for instance
, employees have
been replaced
by chatbots that operate on artificial intelligence and provide solutions to the queries of the clients. For these reasons, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
replaced with robots.

On the other hand
, there
still
are a few instances that cannot
be done
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
as robots will never have the aptitude to do them. In simple words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
a 'human touch'. Take medicine,
for example
, In the diagnosis, the robot cannot
accurately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a diagnosis. Even with the advancement in technology in the medical field, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
that is
intelligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to carry out the functions of the doctor.
Thus
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are taking over most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
functions, there are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
functions which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
cannot perform.

To conclude
, It is most likely that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
will lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. In my opinion, the work that does not demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
eventually
be done
by robots;
however
, complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
human-specific abilities will always
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
exist
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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