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1675 third describe a place that has a special meaning to you. you should saywhat kind of place it is and where it iswhat it looks like what sounds you associate with itand explain why you particularly like to place v.1

1675 third describe a place that has a special meaning to you. you should saywhat kind of place it is and where it iswhat it looks like what sounds you associate with itand explain why you particularly like to place v. 1
Many youngsters devote a huge amount of time on electronic gadgets these days. It can prove to be extremely damaging to them. I strongly agree with this statement for two reasons; effect on the eye sight of children and their communication skills. Firstly, computers and smartphones can cause a severe effect on the vision of young children. While using digital devices, children tend to blink their eyes half of the normal blink rate, which can lead to dryness and irritation. For example, numerous studies have consistently found that excessive use of electronic devices can cause nearsightedness. For such reasons, the use of digital devices must be restricted. The second reason why I disapprove prolonged screen use of children is that it can cause a negative effect on their social and communication skills. The children who spend plenty of on smartphone screens are more likely to overlook all the social activities happening in the surroundings which might result in decreasing their empathic connection towards others. For instance, recent research proved that when people develop the habit of taking out their phones at any free period, they lose the drive to communicate with people in person. Therefore, excessive usage of time over screen is hurtful for children. To conclude, smart phone usage by children has dramatically increased in recent times. It has been debated in this essay that how this increase has created negative implications on eyesight and face-to-face communication for children. In my opinion, excessive exposure to computer screens is dangerous for children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youngsters devote a huge amount of time on electronic gadgets these days. It can prove to be
extremely
damaging to them. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement for two reasons; effect on the
This word is usually spelt together: "eyesight".
eye sight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Firstly
, computers and smartphones can cause a severe effect on the vision of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While using digital devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to blink their eyes half of the normal blink rate, which can lead to dryness and irritation.
For example
, numerous studies have
consistently
found that excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic devices can cause nearsightedness. For such reasons, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of digital devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be restricted
.

The second reason why I disapprove prolonged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that it can cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their social and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of on smartphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
are more likely to overlook all the social activities happening in the surroundings which might result in decreasing their empathic connection towards others.
For instance
, recent research proved that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
develop the habit of taking out their phones at any free period, they lose the drive to communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in person.
Therefore
, excessive usage of time over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
is hurtful for children.

To conclude
, smart phone usage by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
dramatically
increased in recent times. It has
been debated
in this essay that how this increase has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications on eyesight and face-to-face communication for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion, excessive exposure to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 1675 third describe a place that has a special meaning to you. you should saywhat kind of place it is and where it iswhat it looks like what sounds you associate with itand explain why you particularly like to place v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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