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The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educated their parents with parental skill To what extent you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educated their parents with parental skill v. 1
It is believed that the likelihood of juvenile delinquency which are giving serious concern to society can be minimized thanks to better parenting skills. Although educating parents with such skills could help address the issue, i personally disagree with this idea for a number of reasons, which will be outlined in this essay. On the one hand, It is of vital importance to equip parents with skills for preventing youth crimes. Juvenile delinquency is closely associated with parents’ care for their children. Without timely guidance and thorough observation from parents, children often find it difficult to distinguish between true and false as well as corrections. Their behaviour is deemed appropriate. It is for this reason that they are invisible to the common crime of ignorance. In addition, a parent's behaviour can shape a child's personality. Intentional or accidental parents are the role model their children follow. If parents have a standard attitude, they will teach their children moral lessons and vice versa. For example, if a father teaches his children physical punishment for them, they think violence is acceptable in their daily life. On the one hand, solely parental skills are not enough to reduce juvenile delinquency, and government should play a vital role in tackling the issue. A significant percentage of teenagers are forced to commit crimes because they are unemployed and living in poverty. In fact, if the government can reduce the youth unemployment rate, the number of crimes committed late will be reduced accordingly. Stricter punishments should also be applied as a deterrent to adolescents who tend to commit illegal acts. For example, the fear of losing freedom in prison can prevent a potential law offender from carrying out illegal activities. In addition, the state needs to educate adolescents about the harms of committing crimes because forming a good character also reduces youth crimes. In conclusion, albeit effective to some extent, only training parents is not enough to minimize crime rate among the young.
It
is believed
that the likelihood of juvenile delinquency which are giving serious concern to society can
be minimized
thanks to better parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Although educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
address the issue,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for a number of reasons, which will
be outlined
in this essay.

On the one hand, It is of vital importance to equip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for preventing youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Juvenile delinquency is
closely
associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Without timely guidance and thorough observation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find it difficult to distinguish between true and false
as well
as corrections. Their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is deemed
appropriate. It is
for this reason
that they are invisible to the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
of ignorance.
In addition
, a parent's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can shape a child's personality. Intentional or accidental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the role model their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a standard attitude, they will teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
moral lessons and vice versa.
For example
, if a father teaches his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physical punishment for them, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
violence is acceptable in their daily life.

On the one hand,
solely
parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
juvenile delinquency, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should play a vital role in tackling the issue. A significant percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are forced
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are unemployed
and living in poverty. In fact, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the youth unemployment rate, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed late will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
accordingly
. Stricter punishments should
also
be applied
as a deterrent to adolescents who tend to commit illegal acts.
For example
, the fear of losing freedom in prison can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a potential law offender from carrying out illegal activities.
In addition
, the state needs to educate adolescents about the harms of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
forming a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
character
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
youth crimes.

In conclusion
, albeit effective to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to minimize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate among the young.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educated their parents with parental skill v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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