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When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. v. 4
There is no doubt that the Parks and sports facilities are essential in our lives. However the question: Do people want to spend their free time in a public garden and sports places more than the shopping mall? Is considered one of the most controversial questions today. In this essay I am going to examine this question from both viewpoints. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits considerably outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing that is the health status of the citizens, these kinds of facilities contribute a major role in health, a good illustration of that when people spent their free time in the gym, that help them to maintain a healthy weight by burning their calories because they are focusing on the exercise in comparison when they went to the mall, they are focusing on shopping and other related things. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it from opposing case. There are people who often argued that in fact because they are thinking in both parks and gym, they do not have an interesting activity unlike the mall everybody can do what he prefers to do (he can play, walk, eat or even shopping), so everyone can find an interesting activity to do it in the shopping mall. We have seen there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe that do not think only about yourself in term of having more sports facilities since not all the people like to exercise and let us have more parks and big shopping malls, which have a sport facility inside it.
There is no doubt that the Parks and
sports
facilities are essential in our
lives
.
However
the
question
: Do
people
want to spend their free time in a public garden and
sports
places more than the
shopping
mall
?
Is considered
one of the most controversial
questions
today
. In this essay I am going to examine this
question
from both viewpoints.

On one side of the argument there are
people
who argue that the benefits
considerably
outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing
that is
the health status of the citizens, these kinds of facilities contribute a major role in health, a
good
illustration of that when
people
spent their free time in the gym, that
help
them to maintain a healthy weight by burning their calories
because
they are focusing on the exercise
in comparison
when they went to the
mall
, they are focusing on
shopping
and other related things.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it from opposing case. There are
people
who
often
argued that in fact
because
they are thinking in both parks and gym, they do not have an interesting activity unlike the
mall
everybody can do what he prefers to do (he can play, walk, eat or even
shopping)
,
so
everyone can find an interesting activity to do it in the
shopping
mall.

We have
seen
there are no easy answers to this
question
. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that do not
think
only
about yourself in term of having more
sports
facilities since not all the
people
like to exercise and
let
us have more parks and
big
shopping
malls
, which have a
sport
facility inside it.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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