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Talk about an important event that happened in your country's history. Describe the event and explain why it was important. v.1

Talk about an important event that happened in your country's history. Describe the event and explain why it was important. v. 1
There is a discussion regarding the importance of maintaining a well organised space at house and in the office. I strongly believe this can help us to keep our mental health, be more productive and even get a job promotion faster. Firstly, keeping objects in their places makes us feel comfortable and more productive. This is due the fact that this way it is possible to avoid the stress of looking for documents and items we do not know where they are. For instance, looking for the car key at home when a person is late for work can be a nightmare. A simple way to avoid this situation is to have a fixed, well known place for all the keys in the house. Further, spending time at work looking for a document decreases our productivity along the day. Not to mention the huge problem of loosing an important file. Also, having a clean and ordered desk at work reflects on our personal image. Organised people are usually more considered than the unorganised ones. In a competitive job market, it is a good way to positively stand out from colleagues. This way, the chances of getting a promotion earlier than the others are significantly increased. Also, this can save a person's position in case of a downsizing, because organisation can be a tiebreaker criteria. In conclusion, there are several advantages of keeping a clean, ordered space at work and at home, including avoiding unnecessary stress caused by spending time looking for lost items. Also, it can help to build a strong personal image at work, which is fundamental to get recognition from the superiors in a competitive working scenario.
There is a discussion regarding the importance of maintaining a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well organised
space at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and in the office. I
strongly
believe this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our mental health, be more productive and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job promotion faster.

Firstly
, keeping objects in their places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us feel comfortable and more productive. This is due the fact that this way it is possible to avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
for documents and items we do not know where they are.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
for the car key at home when a person is late for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be a nightmare. A simple way to avoid this situation is to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
, well known place for all the keys in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Further
, spending time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
for a document decreases our productivity along the day. Not to mention the huge problem of loosing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
file.

Also
, having a clean and ordered desk at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
reflects on our personal image.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organised' is British English.
Organised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
usually
more considered than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unorganised
ones. In a competitive job market, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
positively
stand out from colleagues. This way, the chances of getting a promotion earlier than the others are
significantly
increased.
Also
, this can save a person's position in case of a downsizing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
can be a tiebreaker criteria.

In conclusion
, there are several advantages of keeping a clean, ordered space at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and at home, including avoiding unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
caused by spending time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
for lost items.
Also
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build a strong personal image at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which is fundamental to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recognition from the superiors in a competitive working scenario.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about an important event that happened in your country's history. Describe the event and explain why it was important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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