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The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to 6 years of free education to children so that they can at least read write and use numbers To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement v.2

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to 6 years of free education to children so that they can at least read write and use numbers with the statement v. 2
It is the unrefutable way that we can reduce the poor category people by providing free education for the 6 years. But there are some counterparts strongly agreeing by a sectioned of people who not only will help to provide free education for some amount of years. I am of the opinion who will be debated before going to the conclusion. First and foremost, there are unendurable populations for some of the developing countries where they are affecting a lot to get the basic needs such as food, education, and health. International health organization has released the survey for last year that overall 64 % people are under in below poverty and 34 % of children are not getting an education due to this unavailable money for education. If they get 6 years of free education, it will really help them to have a social knowledge and they will get some confidence to overcome their life. On the other hand, free education only for 6 years that not sufficient which my concern. The government will take the responsibilities to categorize all the people and who are all in below poverty and which they unable to take care of their children those all have to get free education up to they complete their higher studies and also they can provide free lunch so that pupil will become healthier and they can able to study as well. For instance, In India, one of state government who gave free education and free lunch. In order to that children, education has raised consecutively. Now that state became the first for the more educated people state. To recapitulate this, a fee education is promoting children physical, intellectual and emotional. Also, they need more benefits from the government to achieve their life.
It is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unrefutable
way that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the poor category
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the 6 years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
counterparts
strongly
agreeing by
The phrase 'a sectioned of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a sectioned of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of years. I am of the opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will
be debated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to the conclusion.

First
and foremost, there are unendurable populations for
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
where they are affecting a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the basic needs such as food,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and health. International health organization has released the survey for last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
that
overall
64 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under in below poverty and 34 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not getting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
due to this unavailable money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it will
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have a social
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
confidence to overcome their life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for 6 years that not sufficient which my concern. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will take the responsibilities to categorize all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are all in below poverty and which
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
unable to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
those all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
up to they complete their higher studies and
also
they can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
lunch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that pupil will become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthier and
they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
study
as well
.
For instance
, In India, one of state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
lunch. In order to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has raised
consecutively
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that state became the
first
for the more educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state.

To recapitulate this, a fee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physical, intellectual and emotional.
Also
, they need more benefits from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to achieve their life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to 6 years of free education to children so that they can at least read write and use numbers with the statement v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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