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Some people believe that governments in developing countries can best improve people's quality of life by introducing new technology. Others, however, believe that the best way to make life better is to provide free education for all. Discuss both of v.1

Some people believe that governments in developing countries can best improve people's quality of life by introducing new technology. Others, however, believe that the best way to make life better is to provide free education for all. 1
Some are of the opinion that group study prepares them better, while others think that studying on their own is more impactful for them. I am of the opinion that studying in a group is very productive as a number of people come together to discuss topics and thereby bringing various ideas and resources together. On one hand, studying on your own could encourage self confidence and speed when preparing for an exam. Moreover, this eliminates any form of distraction that a study group can cause. Also, an individual can study and not feel intimidated in any form when studying alone, unlike when you have many people with different level of knowledge trying to express and communicate their intelligence. For example, a survey was conducted by a group of analysts to find out how economic student likes to read whether in groups or alone. And statistics revealed that about 75% of them are more interested in reading alone than in groups. On the other hand, some categories of people are of the opinion that reading in groups is very productive for them and I strongly agree with them. Firstly, group reading is a medium where individuals with different knowledge and level of understanding come together to share ideas and pass knowledge to one another. This evidence shows that a lot can be gained from everyone as each individual has something to say and discuss with other group members. In addition, topics not understood from misunderstood are explained better in a more relaxed manner as colleagues share of the wealth of understanding, thereby clearing their doubt and emphasizing the important points that needs to be remembered. For example, medical students were mostly found reading in groups and also creating discussion groups for themselves, as there are a lot of topics to be taught and read in a short period of time while they are engaged in other medical assignments in the hospital. So, therefore, they must find a way of understanding all their books and teachings and this led to the creation of study groups and this has been found to be very effective for them in their study. In conclusion, although several people feel studying alone is more efficient others are of the belief that group study is far more productive and I also agree that group study is more efficient as so many people come to share with their wealth of knowledge and ideas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
prepares them better, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is more impactful for them. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
productive as a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to discuss topics and thereby bringing various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and resources together.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
could encourage
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
and speed when preparing for an exam.
Moreover
, this eliminates any form of distraction that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can cause.
Also
, an individual can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and not feel intimidated in any form when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, unlike when you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
trying to express and communicate their intelligence.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of analysts to find out how economic student likes to read whether in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. And statistics revealed that about 75% of them are more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
than in groups.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
productive for them and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is a medium where individuals with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and level of understanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and pass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to one another. This evidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a lot can
be gained
from everyone as each individual has something to say and discuss with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
members.
In addition
, topics not understood from misunderstood are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
better in a more relaxed manner as colleagues share of the wealth of understanding, thereby clearing their doubt and emphasizing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
points that needs to
be remembered
.
For example
, medical students were
mostly
found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and
also
creating discussion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
for themselves, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
topics to
be taught
and read in a short period of time while they
are engaged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
medical assignments in the hospital.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find a way of understanding all their books and teachings and this led to the creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and this has
been found
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective for them in their study.

In conclusion
, although several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is more efficient others are of the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is far more productive and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is more efficient as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to share with their wealth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that governments in developing countries can best improve people's quality of life by introducing new technology. Others, however, believe that the best way to make life better is to provide free education for all. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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