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Some people believe that criminqls should be given longer term of prison as to reduce crime. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

Some people believe that criminqls should be given longer term of prison as to reduce crime. v. 2
These days crime is increasing at an alarming rate in the society. Majority of folks reckon that offenders should be kept for longer imprisonment which may lead to minimise the crime rate in the country. I partially agree with the given agrument and would like to discuss my views in the forthcoming paragraphs. There are abundant of reasons that why government should give long term punishment of prison to culprits. The chief favourable fact may be that, there are some criminals who commit hard core crimes such as murder and rape for those offenders this punishment is better. It would remind to other criminals to stop doing crimes. Therefore, it would help to makes a society good place to live there. For example, Indian government give a long term imprisonment to Dera chief of sirsa Ram Rahim in the case of rape. After taking this decision by legal bodies, the crime rate in the India is minimise at some extent. Proceeding to the issue of why legal bodies should not give longer imprisonment to offenders. First of all, if criminals are kept in prison for long time period then prisons would become overcrowded. Consequently, government would spend more money to provide better facilities to offenders in the form of shelter, food, medical facility and clothes. Secondly, some criminals who commit minor crimes such as thieft, robbery and so on. If government keep to those ones in prison then it would be injustice for them. Instead of imprisonment, those criminals should send to rehabilitation center where they can learn new skills which may change the lifestyle and forget to do such crimes. Additional, some person only commit crimes when they confront unemployment due to lack of education so, legal authorities should provide better education and job to every citizen. As a result, it may reduce the crime rate in the nation. To sum up, it can be confidently conveyed that, government should give longer imprisonment to only those offenders who do hard core crimes.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is increasing at an alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the society. Majority of folks reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
which may lead to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the country. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Possible spelling mistake found.
agrument
and would like to discuss my views in the forthcoming paragraphs.

There are abundant of reasons that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
long term punishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
to culprits. The chief
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
fact may be that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who commit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as murder and rape for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
this punishment is better. It would remind to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Therefore
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "make".
makes
a society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.
For example
, Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dera
chief of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sirsa
Ram Rahim in the case of rape. After taking this decision by legal bodies, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the India is
Consider using a past participle here: "minimised".
minimise
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

Proceeding to the issue of why legal bodies should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for long time period then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
would become overcrowded.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would spend more money to provide better facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in the form of shelter, food, medical facility and clothes.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who commit minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
thieft
, robbery and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
to
This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write "those" instead.
those ones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
then it would be injustice for them.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to rehabilitation center where they can learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the lifestyle and forget to do such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Additional,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
when they confront unemployment due to lack of education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, legal authorities should provide better education and job to every citizen.
As a result
, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the nation.

To sum up, it can be
confidently
conveyed that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
who do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that criminqls should be given longer term of prison as to reduce crime. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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