Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in the suburbs or in the countryside. To what extent do you agree? v.3

The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in the suburbs or in the countryside. v. 3
Nowadays, with the advent of increasing problem of traffic and transportation, motivating residents to live in cities rather than in the suburbs and countryside can be regarded as the most suitable way for soling this issue. Personally, I disagree this idea. First of all, even though people moving to live in downtown could effectively avoids long-distance transportation assumption, short-distance issue will obviously occur in the certain place. To be extended, if huge amount of people change their living circumstance, which from suburbs to cities, there will be obvious problem of increasing population. Therefore, the using rate of both private cars and public transportations will grow dramatically. As a result, the more serious traffic congestion could be easily observed. Hence, motivating people to live in cities will become meaningless in resolving traffic or transportation matters, but even likely cause more troubles. Secondly, if people migrate to cities, the infrastructure will be damaged more quickly because of the higher using of transportations. This leads to the inconsiderable method of dealing with this problem. For example, if the road can only bear five thousands vehicles every time, but there are doubled number cars on the road, the road will be ruined in a faster way. Therefore, if quantities of vehicles always overwhelm the total weight bearing of the road, there will not be entire road and traffic conditions will become more serious. In this case, this key point may likely trigger to more traffic matters, instead of tackling. In conclusion, even encouraging people live in cities rather than countryside might solve the trouble sometime, this is not the most perfect way because it will lead to more issues, which are traffic congestions and damaged infrastructure, instead of really focused on dealing with the problem.
Nowadays, with the advent of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, motivating residents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
rather
than in the suburbs and countryside can
be regarded
as the most suitable way for soling this issue.
Personally
, I disagree this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in downtown could
effectively
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "avoid"
avoids
long-distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
assumption, short-distance issue will
obviously
occur in the certain place. To
be extended
, if huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their living circumstance, which from suburbs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there will be obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of increasing population.
Therefore
, the using rate of both private cars and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
will grow
dramatically
.
As a result
, the more serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion could be
easily
observed.
Hence
, motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will become meaningless in resolving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
matters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even likely cause more troubles.

Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the infrastructure will
be damaged
more
quickly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the higher using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
. This leads to the inconsiderable method of dealing with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bear five thousands vehicles every time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there
are doubled
number cars on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
will
be ruined
in a faster way.
Therefore
, if quantities of vehicles always overwhelm the total weight bearing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, there will not be entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
conditions will become more serious.
In this case
, this key point may likely trigger to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
matters,
instead
of tackling.

In conclusion
, even encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
rather
than countryside might solve the trouble sometime, this is not the most perfect way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will lead to more issues, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions and damaged infrastructure,
instead
of
really
focused on dealing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in the suburbs or in the countryside. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts