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The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in the suburbs or in the countryside. To what extent do you agree. v.1

The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in the suburbs or in the countryside. v. 1
In recent times, it is becoming more preferable to combat the increase in congestion on the roads by recommending that individuals reside in the metropolis against living in the village. This essay will explain why this is the right decision to make as regards decongesting the roads. Firstly, most towns have been observed to have a robust transport system which is able to manage and control the influx of vehicles. This is as a result of the high number of industries in this area which makes it imperative to improve the road network for the quick movement of finished goods after production. For instance, the popular car manufacturing company, Innoson which predominates the southern part of the country has invested greatly in the maintenance of roads as well as in assisting the government to train workers in the Road safety department, an office specially tasked with the responsibility of controlling traffic in the urban environs. Secondly, if more people stay in the towns instead of the countryside, it will be an significantly reduce the rate of accidents that are occurring frequently. This is because the distance from the homesteads to places of work is far off and when a lot of people leave home at the same time to avoid the onslaught of the jam, there is a high probability of mishap occurring. For example, last week the village of Ibuku lost over 20 indigenes who were involved in a ghastly motor accident on their way back from work. In summary, I strongly agree that the best alternative to combat traffic is to advocate that people stay in the urban regions instead of the villages.
In recent times, it is becoming more preferable to combat the increase in congestion on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
by recommending that individuals reside in the metropolis against living in the village. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this is the right decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
as regards decongesting the roads.

Firstly
, most towns have
been observed
to have a robust transport system which is able to manage and control the influx of vehicles. This is
as a result
of the high number of industries in this area which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
network for the quick movement of finished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
after production.
For instance
, the popular car manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Innoson
which predominates the southern part of the country has invested
greatly
in the maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
as well
as in assisting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to train workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
safety department, an office
specially
tasked with the responsibility of controlling traffic in the urban environs.

Secondly
, if more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stay in the towns
instead
of the countryside, it will be
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of accidents that are occurring
frequently
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the distance from the homesteads to places of work is far off and when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home at the same time to avoid the onslaught of the jam, there is a high probability of mishap occurring.
For example
, last week the village of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ibuku
lost over 20
Possible spelling mistake found.
indigenes
who
were involved
in a ghastly motor accident on their way back from work.

In summary, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the best alternative to combat traffic is to advocate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stay in the urban regions
instead
of the villages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in the suburbs or in the countryside. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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