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countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.4

countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 4
It is said that countries are becoming similar to each other because of the global spread of the same products, which are now available for purchase almost anywhere. I strongly believe that this modern development is largely detrimental to culture and traditions worldwide. A country's history, language and ethos are all inextricably bound up in its manufactured artefacts. If the relentless advance of international brands into every corner of the world continues, these bland packages might one day completely oust the traditional objects of a nation, which would be a loss of richness and diversity in the world, as well as the sad disappearance of the manifestations of a place's character. What would a Japanese tea ceremony be without its specially crafted teapot, or a Fijian ritual without its bowl made from a certain type of tree bark? Let us not forget either that traditional products, whether these be medicines, cosmetics, toys, clothes, utensils or food, provide employment for local people. The spread of multinational products can often bring in its wake a loss of jobs, as people turn to buying the new brand, perhaps thinking it more glamorous than the one they are used to. This eventually puts old-school craftspeople out of work. Finally, tourism numbers may also be affected, as travellers become disillusioned with finding every place just the same as the one they visited previously. To see the same products in shops the world over is boring, and does not impel visitors to open their wallets in the same way that trinkets or souvenirs unique to the particular area do.
It
is said
that countries are becoming similar to each other
because
of the global spread of the same
products
, which are
now
available for
purchase
almost anywhere. I
strongly
believe that this modern development is
largely
detrimental to culture and traditions worldwide.

A country's history, language and ethos are all
inextricably
bound up in its manufactured
artefacts
. If the relentless advance of international brands into every corner of the world continues, these bland packages might one day completely oust the traditional objects of a nation, which would be a loss of richness and diversity in the world,
as well
as the sad disappearance of the manifestations of a place's character. What would a Japanese tea ceremony be without its
specially
crafted teapot, or a Fijian ritual without its bowl made from a certain type of tree bark?

Let
us not forget either that traditional
products
, whether these be medicines, cosmetics, toys, clothes, utensils or food, provide employment for local
people
. The spread of multinational
products
can
often
bring in its wake a loss of jobs, as
people
turn to buying the new brand, perhaps thinking it more glamorous than the one they are
used
to. This
eventually
puts
old
-school craftspeople out of work.

Finally
, tourism numbers may
also
be
affected
, as
travellers
become disillusioned with finding every place
just
the same as the one they visited previously. To
see
the same
products
in shops the world over is boring, and does not impel visitors to open their wallets
in the same way
that trinkets or souvenirs unique to the particular area do.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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