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The bar shows numbers of marriages and divorces and marital status in 30 years from 1970 in America. v.1

The bar shows numbers of marriages and divorces and marital status in 30 years from 1970 in America. v. 1
In recent years, health is the most important aspect of our lives. Some people have argued that the improvement of health should be operated by the schools. This essay agrees with the statement because some research has been carried out on the importance of schools. Therefore, only two factors why the education of the diet and the provided healthy meal in the school are an important component in the health system and play a key role. This paper reviews for school responsibility under two subdivisions. For the first important reason is education. Education helps to coordinate healthy habits. Although that claim has been strongly contested some researcher, the cooking education in the school has important implication for the development of the population health. For instance, if the education changes the cooking beneficial foods, the taste of palate will be a change in the future. Moreover, protecting of culture supplies which is healthy food in the community. The second role is the schools that provide healthy meals in the school's shops. So, the students are averted from hazardous of the foods in the cafeteria. Providing harmless snack is a good illustration of the children's health. Moreover, the snack has an effect on the student's life qualities. In conclusion, as this essay very clearly demonstrates that education and providing food plays an important role in the maintenance of the children. These factors may explain the relatively good correlation between them. Overall, the essay shows that the schools should take all control of the first step on the educated healthy people.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have argued that the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
should
be operated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research has
been carried
out on the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two factors why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of the diet and the provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meal in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
component in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system and play a key role. This paper reviews for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
responsibility under two subdivisions.

For the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to coordinate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
habits. Although that claim has been
strongly
contested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researcher, the cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
implication for the development of the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the cooking beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, the taste of palate will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future.
Moreover
, protecting of culture supplies which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the community.

The second role is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
that provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meals in the school's shops.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the students
are averted
from hazardous of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in the cafeteria. Providing harmless snack is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of the children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
, the snack has an effect on the student's life qualities.

In conclusion
, as this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
demonstrates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in the maintenance of the children. These factors may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
relatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
correlation between them.
Overall
, the essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should take all control of the
first
step on the educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The bar shows numbers of marriages and divorces and marital status in 30 years from 1970 in America. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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