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Cambridge 6- test 4- task 1The charts below give the information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v.1

Cambridge 6- test 4- task 1The charts below give the information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v. 1
These days, the relationship between people has changed because of modern science. I believe this is a negative development when it comes to relationships mostly young people targeted, that is due to two reasons, first people no longer, talk to each other or meet face to face, second, people They no longer spend more hours with their families. Firstly, technology makes our life much easier than before because, we can talk to each other using tools like Facebook, Skype and it is very economical. Therefore, technology has eliminated physical contact between people, which is so important to build strong and social character. For instance, my mother told me stories of her old time. When she was young, she spends her quality time with friends and meets them face to face, but now due to the introduction of modern technology; she can talk on the phone, which is somehow beneficial but, in a relationship; it is a negative development. Secondly, these days everyone has smartphones, so they can talk to their friends on the phone not personally and most people are busy playing games on the internet, they don’t have time for their families, even for dinner most of the time they will come late or they are busy using a social website to chat with others. In conclusion, with the development of the latest technology; people get some benefits, but on the other hand by using this technology person relations are going to be affected by the type of families and friends.
These days, the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of modern science. I believe this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to relationships
mostly
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
targeted,
that is
due to two reasons,
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to each other or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
, second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
They no longer spend more hours with their families.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life much easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to each other using tools like Facebook, Skype and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
economical.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has eliminated physical contact between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build strong and social character.
For instance
, my mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me stories of her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. When she was young, she spends her quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with friends and meets them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
due to the introduction of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
; she can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
on the phone, which is somehow beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in a relationship; it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

Secondly
, these days everyone has smartphones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to their friends on the phone not
personally
and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy playing games on the internet, they don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their families, even for dinner most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
late or
they are busy using a social website to chat with others.

In conclusion
, with the development of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
by using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
person relations are going to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the type of families and friends.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Cambridge 6- test 4- task 1The charts below give the information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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