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the charts below show information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v.1

the charts below show information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v. 1
It is true that these days, too much litter has been produced by us. There are several reasons for this problem, and various measures can be taken by the governments and individuals to improve the situation. At the outset, the most likely culprit here is the modern world. To gain more profit, companies are producing products that have not been made to last; people are bound to throw the discard items on the streets and likely to purchase the new ones. To cite an example from my own experience, recently I purchased a new watch as there was some malfunction with the old one that I brought just six months ago. The problem can also be attributed to over packaging of their products, Manufacturers tend to over pack their products not only for protection but also to make them more attractive. Customers allowed by the adverts, are likely to buy the products with unnecessary package material that would sooner or later end up in the garbage. For instance, electronic accessories purchase online are likely to be packed in bubbled plastic material, and cardboards, and these serve no other purpose. However, some workable solutions can alleviate this situation. An obvious one would be by limiting the packaging material. Governments can play their part by enacting rules and regulation to use less packaging material by companies. Individuals can also assist with avoiding to buy products that are overly packed. Thus, by combining efforts, litter can be reduced to a great extent. Another effective measure could be imposing the quality checks on materials to make sure to produce the products that last long. If qualitative products are sold to customers, they would purchase the products occasionally. For example, 2. 5 tons of electronic waste such as computers and mobiles are found in the landfill sites of Indian city Mumbai. Therefore, by taking these steps into practice can ensure less garbage. In conclusion, consumerism and over packaging appear to be at the root of this trouble. However, the issue can be resolved by the collaborative efforts of both governments and individuals.
It is true that these days, too much litter has
been produced
by us. There are several reasons for this problem, and various measures can
be taken
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

At the outset, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
culprit here is the modern world. To gain more profit,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that have not
been made
to last;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are bound
to throw the discard items on the streets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the new ones. To cite an example from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, recently I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
as there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
malfunction with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one that I brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
six months ago. The problem can
also
be attributed
to over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, Manufacturers tend to over pack their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for protection
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more attractive. Customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
by the adverts, are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with unnecessary package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
that would sooner or later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in the garbage.
For instance
, electronic accessories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
online are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to
be packed
in bubbled plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
cardboards
, and these serve no other purpose.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
solutions can alleviate this situation. An obvious one would be by limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can play their part by enacting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Individuals can
also
assist with avoiding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are
overly
packed.
Thus
, by combining efforts, litter can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a great extent. Another effective measure could be imposing the quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure to produce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that last long. If qualitative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are sold
to customers, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
occasionally
.
For example
, 2. 5 tons of electronic waste such as computers and mobiles
are found
in the landfill sites of Indian city Mumbai.
Therefore
, by taking these steps into practice can ensure less garbage.

In conclusion
, consumerism and over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
appear to be at the root of this trouble.
However
, the issue can
be resolved
by the collaborative efforts of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay the charts below show information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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