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The bar charts show the various activities in the evening and how they often do between 1980 and 2010 v.1

The bar charts show the various activities in the evening and how they often do between 1980 and 2010 v. 1
In recent times a greater percentage of individuals conclude to bear offspring at a later time as against the days of old. Bearing neonate at maturity offers the opportunity to build a career and also save up financially for the well-being of this babe in contrast to a later decision  which can predispose reproductive women to various diseases such as fibroid and infertility. Also, elderly parents are too busy, lacking time and energy to cater for children. In my opinion, the resolution to bear children should occur at an earlier age, the advantage of taking a stand to have a family at a later time is career-building and financial stability. The individual is not easily distracted by the hassle of raising a kid and can reach the summit of her career speedily. For instance, a cousin who resulted in having her offspring at a later age built her career to  its peak, she had a master degree, PhD and became a professor while serving as a firm where she also rose in position. An advantage of financial security results in meeting the child's needs and demand  following years of saving. Parent's who take a stand to reproduce later in life may be at a disadvantaged point as various illnesses tend to crop up in the elderly, one of such include fibroid which may hinder conception.   An increase in age is associated with decreased fertility rate of a woman and bearing children later comes with a clause as one may not be able to reproduce at all. Lack of time and energy in raising a child is also associated with a late decision to conceive as children are not well trained and disciplined, for instance a daughter whose parents are both business Tycoons result into prostitution due to lack of parental care and attention. More often than not, elderly parents are more engrossed in maintaining financial status quo, hence relegate the training of their children to maid. Eventually children and not disciplined. In conclusion the advantage of taking a stand to bear children at a later stage in life outweighs the disadvantages.
In recent
times
a greater percentage of individuals conclude to bear offspring at a
later
time
as against the days of
old
. Bearing neonate at maturity offers the opportunity to build a career and
also
save up
financially
for the well-being of this babe
in contrast
to a
later
decision
 
which can predispose reproductive women to various diseases such as fibroid and infertility.
Also
, elderly parents are too busy, lacking
time
and energy to cater for children.

In my opinion, the resolution to bear
children
should occur at an earlier age, the advantage of taking a stand to have a family at a
later
time
is career-building and financial stability. The individual is not
easily
distracted by the hassle of raising a kid and can reach the summit of her career
speedily
.
For instance
, a cousin who resulted in having her offspring at a
later
age built her career to
 
its peak, she had a master degree, PhD and became a professor while serving as a firm where she
also
rose in position.

An advantage of financial security results in meeting the child's needs and demand
 
following years of saving.

Parent's who take a stand to reproduce
later
in life may be at a disadvantaged point as various illnesses tend to crop up in the elderly, one of such include fibroid which may hinder conception.
 
An increase in age
is associated
with decreased fertility rate of a woman and bearing
children
later
comes
with a clause as one may not be able to reproduce at all. Lack of
time
and energy in raising a child is
also
associated with a late decision to conceive as
children
are not
well trained
and disciplined,
for instance
a daughter whose parents are both business Tycoons result into prostitution due to lack of parental care and attention. More
often
than not, elderly parents are more engrossed in maintaining financial status quo,
hence
relegate the training of their
children
to maid.
Eventually
children
and not disciplined.

In conclusion
the advantage of taking a stand to bear
children
at a
later
stage in life outweighs the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar charts show the various activities in the evening and how they often do between 1980 and 2010 v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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