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The bar chart shows the percentage of people livn alone of five diferent age groups in USA between 1850 and 2000. v.1

The bar chart shows the percentage of people livn alone of five diferent age groups in USA between 1850 and 2000. v. 1
Media is a way that provide all world wide information to everyone with the help of media equipment such as television, radio, newspaper and etcetera. Some people believe that radio is the better way as compared to television for the provide news purpose. I will explain my own prospective along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, radio is a part of the media that served range of information to every person. For instance, radio contains the number of channels that gives latest news. For that reason, some people prefer to hear news with the help of radio. Moreover, when people travel they mostly use radio media to listen the news purpose because it is a better form to get news. Thus, many ancient people generally use the radio because they feel conformable with this equipment and they hear news with the help of this media because they feel this equipment very familiar to them. On the other hand, nowadays mostly people watching the news on the television because they think that this is the fastest way to get news. For example, in the modern era, television technology changed rapidly and gives number of news channel. For that reason, people believe that television is the best way to get news because television play an important role to spread news speedily in the globe. Thus, in today's scenario television media is very popular in everywhere to served news as well as this media is used by most population of the world for the purpose of getting the vast range of news. To conclude, television and radio are the parts of the media that used for providing the wide range of news and information to every person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
is a way that provide all
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
information to everyone with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
equipment such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, newspaper and etcetera.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is the better way as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'provide' is correct. If 'provide' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
purpose. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
prospective along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that served range of information to every person.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
contains the number of channels that gives
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. For that reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to hear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel they
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to listen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a better form to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel conformable with this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
equipment and
they hear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel this equipment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
familiar to them.

On the other hand
, nowadays
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is the fastest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For example
, in the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rapidly
and gives number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
speedily
in the globe.
Thus
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in everywhere to served
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as well
as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by most population of the world for the purpose of getting the vast range of news.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
are the parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for providing the wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and information to every person.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart shows the percentage of people livn alone of five diferent age groups in USA between 1850 and 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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