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TPO 1 _ Independent TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and ex v.1

TPO 1 _ Independent Task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and ex v. 1
Earlier students were prone to complete their graduation in their home country. Currently, the opportunity of moving to overseas for study purpose is increasing, which is allowing plentiful undergraduates to choose this option. This essay will discuss the merits and the demerits of this development. Firstly, Uniform standard of education all over the world can be ensured through this practice, as the freshman can pursue their studies in various countries. Moreover, this will reduce the differences in quality of education between affluent and poor countries. For instance, Numerous undergraduates from India are moving to the UK, USA, Canada, Australia for higher degrees, their level of qualification would be similar as the locals. Secondly, the return of the graduates will fortify the betterment of their homeland. Furthermore, the workforce is considered to be as skilled as the developed world which will help in making a better future for their society. Additionally, if a society is blessed with internally educated manpower, success is certain. To illustrate, the professors of Bangladesh are being offered scholarship for getting higher degree, so that when they come back, they can contribute more to the education system. In contrast, several students find it critical to survive in the new culture, weather, due to the culture shock. Particularly, it becomes tough for some to bear the expenses in the foreign location and some does not have sufficient back up from their parents. For example, a myriad number of fresh graduates had to return, without completing the course due to the culture shock and financial issues. Also, most of them decides to stay in that country, as they find it more comfortable and advanced. Clearly, they believe, it will assist them to have a sophisticated lifestyle. As a result, plethora of graduates stays in abroad where they actually went for the degree. In conclusion, an abundance of students is persuing higher educational certificate in abroad. It helps to maintain the standard of learning discrete worldwide as well as it contributes to the advancement of their home region. However, the dissimilarities in customs, climate along with the additional expenses to survive sometimes make it tough for them. Moreover, the return of most the graduates is quite uncertain.
Earlier students were prone to complete their graduation in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Currently
, the opportunity of moving to overseas for study purpose is increasing, which is allowing plentiful undergraduates to choose this option. This essay will discuss the merits and the demerits of this development.

Firstly
, Uniform standard of education all over the world can
be ensured
through this practice, as the freshman can pursue their studies in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the differences in quality of education between affluent and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, Numerous undergraduates from India are moving to the UK, USA, Canada, Australia for higher degrees, their level of qualification would be similar as the locals.
Secondly
, the return of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
will fortify the betterment of their homeland.
Furthermore
, the workforce
is considered
to be as skilled as the developed world which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making a better future for their society.
Additionally
, if a society
is blessed
with
internally
educated manpower, success is certain. To illustrate, the professors of Bangladesh are
being offered
scholarship for getting higher degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back, they can contribute more to the education system.

In contrast
, several students find it critical to survive in the new culture, weather, due to the culture shock.
Particularly
, it becomes tough for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to bear the expenses in the foreign location and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
does not have sufficient back up from their parents.
For example
, a myriad number of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
had to return, without completing the course due to the culture shock and financial issues.
Also
, most of them decides to stay in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, as they find it more comfortable and advanced.
Clearly
, they believe, it will assist them to have a sophisticated lifestyle.
As a result
, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
stays in abroad where they actually went for the degree.

In conclusion
, an abundance of students is
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuing
higher educational certificate in abroad. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain the standard of learning discrete worldwide
as well
as it contributes to the advancement of their home region.
However
, the dissimilarities in customs, climate along with the additional expenses to survive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it tough for them.
Moreover
, the return of most the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
is quite uncertain.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay TPO 1 _ Independent Task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and ex v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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