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The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in five di erent age groups in the USA between 1850 and 2000 v.1

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in five di erent age groups in the USA between 1850 and 2000 v. 1
Nowadays, there are a numeric number of countries offer high salaries to individuals, whereas there are a number of people this way is beneficial for the country, while others think that government should restrict high stipends to go under a specific level, it need not to go over that limit. On the one hand, there are a number of companies provide an excellent salary package to its employees. Hence, this is not bad to give a large amount of money to staff. For example, I was told by one of my friends that there was a group in KSA has replaced one employee who worked in the top management, as his earnings was in average level no that much, so the community decided to replace him with someone else who has more experience than him, furthermore, it had offered him a good package to work in its party. So this man had graduated from Western university in the marketing field, he has worked hardly to increased association's profits. In addition, he had provided a good strategy to market their products out of the region, instead of being their items to be distributed in local districts only. For this reason, the business gave him that good income due to the improvements which he brought to it. In other words, he deserved this payroll, isn't it? ! On the other hand, the idea of salary should be limited, it is not fair. Whereas, there are a lot of people deserve to get wage on a large scale, some people work a hard struggle, at the end, they should be rewarded for the achievement which they have done it for the advantage of a particular corporation. Other benefits that they may bring to their enterprises. In addition, other difficult professions need a good a fee to be paid for them, as a result, it will encourage them to do harder and solving complicated issues and putting a good plan to sort out a different problem at work. In brief, putting a rule to specify the salary level is not a successful sole, as it will affect the employees who have a professional experience in different fields.
Nowadays, there are a numeric number of countries offer high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
to individuals, whereas there are a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
this way is beneficial for the country, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should restrict high stipends to go under a specific level, it need not
Did you mean "go"?
to go
over that limit.

On the one hand, there are a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
package to its employees.
Hence
, this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to give a large amount of money to staff.
For example
, I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by one of my friends that there was a group in KSA has replaced one employee who worked in the top management, as his earnings was in average level
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
that much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the community decided to replace him with someone else who has more experience than him,
furthermore
, it had offered him a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
package to work in its party.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
had graduated from Western university in the marketing field, he has worked hardly to increased association's profits.
In addition
, he had provided a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
strategy to market their products out of the region,
instead
of being their items to
be distributed
in local districts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
For this reason
, the business gave him that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
income due to the improvements which he brought to it. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, he deserved this payroll, isn't it? !

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
should
be limited
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. Whereas, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deserve to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
wage on a large scale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
struggle, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, they should
be rewarded
for the achievement which they have done it for the advantage of a particular corporation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
benefits that they may bring to their enterprises.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
difficult professions need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
a fee to
be paid
for them,
as a result
, it will encourage them to do harder and solving complicated issues and putting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
plan to sort out a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problem at work.

In brief
, putting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
to specify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
level is not a successful sole, as it will affect the employees who have a professional experience in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in five di erent age groups in the USA between 1850 and 2000 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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