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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Health is one of the most important assest a man owns. It is a generalized believe that people now a days get sicker easily. As some people think that health standard will worsen with time, I believe this is true to some extent as our diet and lifestyle is contributing to many health related issues. Firstly, people of modern era are living a sedantry lifestyle while people in the past lived a healthy lifestyle. We spend hours working on our mobile phones and laptops which is increasing our idol time and decreasing our activity. When compared, older people were for more active than we are today. This has lead to a drop in our metabolic rates which results in severe life threatening conditions. Unfortunately we are not not showing any promising efforts to overcome this problem. In a Reasearch done in 2020, it was estimated that in 2025 the total number of people with a risk for heart disease will increase to a billion which is quite an alarming situation. Secondly, stress of work and earning a suitable income to meet both ends is becoming hard. Thus, people are doing two or three shifts and barely finding anytime to relax or to eat. Without a nice meal or a good night sleep, people are becoming anxious and it is dangerous. Although future prediction regarding mental health problems are showing a grim picture, no one is willing to pay attention to this issue. There is a bunch of research work done in this field which is predicting a harsh furture health report. To summarize, I must say it is a need of the hour to address our lifestyles to prevent an upcoming disastor. I think with the allocation of a proper time for work as well as some sort of a physical activity and a balance diet, it can be easily achieveable. Otherwise, we are waiting for a poor health bomb to explode.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
assest
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
. It is a generalized believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean “nowadays”?
now a days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sicker
easily
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standard will worsen with time, I believe this is true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent as our diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is contributing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issues.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of modern era are living a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedantry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. We spend hours working on our mobile phones and laptops which is increasing our idol time and decreasing our activity. When compared, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were for more active than we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This has lead to a drop in our metabolic rates which results in severe
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
life threatening
conditions. Unfortunately we are
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not not
showing any promising efforts to overcome this problem. In a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Reasearch
done in 2020, it
was estimated
that in 2025 the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for heart disease will increase to a billion which is quite an alarming situation.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of work and earning a suitable income to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
both ends is becoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing two or three shifts and
barely
finding anytime to relax or to eat. Without a nice meal or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
night sleep,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
anxious and
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. Although future prediction regarding mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems are showing a grim picture, no one is willing to pay attention to this issue. There is a bunch of research work done in this field which is predicting a harsh
Possible spelling mistake found.
furture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
report.

To summarize
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say it is a need of the hour to address our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
an upcoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
disastor
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
with the allocation of a proper time for work
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
If ‘sort’ is a classification term, ‘a’ is not necessary. Use “sort of”. (The phrases ‘kind of’ and ‘sort of’ are informal if they mean ‘to some extent’.)
sort of a
physical activity and a balance diet, it can be
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
achieveable
.
Otherwise
, we are waiting for a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
bomb to explode.
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IELTS essay : The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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