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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.8

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 8
The normal health standard is depriving generation by generation because of changing living standards. Change of food preferences and overuse of machines in daily life, made people lazy and careless about their fitness of body. However, many people think that standard of individual health will be slowly decreasing in the near future, and I totally agree with it. Firstly, the major cause of depression of health is evolution of machines such as vehicals, any electronic gadgets etc. Nowadays, people are highly dependent on machines one or the other way, thus minimising human effort. Since there is decreased in the amount of work done by people, the metabolism of body slows down. For instance, instead of taking a walk to the destination, an individual prefer vehicle due to its instant availablility. It is observed that due to continuous usage of automated devices and fewer workout, the human body results in low strength, which creates many diesases like blood pressure. Secondly, I would like to highlight about the excessive consumption of fast foods or packaging foods. These packaging foods are easily accessible everywhere, but on the same time they contribute great threat to the body if consumed frequently. These products are usually not raw as they are packaged long back with added chemicals as food preservatives to store long. For example, specials chemicals are added in fruit juices to store it for longer days. Also, fast foods like pizza, burger, cakes etc effect health as they have high salt, sugar and oils contains which can result in cardiovascular diseases. In a nutshell, human health is gradually decreasing due to standards of fast foods and excessive use of machines, which can lower the health standards of an individual. However, there are groups who has an awareness of degradation of health, and are taking steps regain a better health with help of exercise like yoga and avoiding fatty acids foods.
The normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
is depriving generation by generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of changing living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preferences and overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in daily life, made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy and careless about their fitness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be
slowly
decreasing in the near future, and I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it.

Firstly
, the major cause of depression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
vehicals
, any electronic gadgets etc. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
highly
dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
one or the other way,
thus
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimising' is British English.
minimising
human effort. Since there
is decreased
in the amount of work done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the metabolism of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
slows down.
For instance
,
instead
of taking a walk to the destination, an individual prefer vehicle due to its instant
Possible spelling mistake found.
availablility
. It
is observed
that due to continuous usage of automated devices and fewer workout, the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
results in low strength, which creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
diesases
like blood pressure.

Secondly
, I would like to highlight about the excessive consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
or packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. These packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
easily
accessible everywhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the same time they contribute great threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
if consumed
frequently
. These products are
usually
not raw as they
are packaged
long back with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
chemicals as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preservatives to store long.
For example
, specials chemicals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in fruit juices to store it for longer days.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like pizza, burger, cakes etc effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as they have high salt, sugar and oils contains which can result in cardiovascular diseases.

In a nutshell, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
gradually
decreasing due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, which can lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
of an individual.
However
, there are groups who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'groups' should be used.
has
an awareness of degradation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and are taking steps regain a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of exercise like yoga and avoiding fatty acids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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