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The ace of international travel and the spread of various kind of mass media all, over the world have made it more possible than even before for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

The ace of international travel and the spread of various kind of mass media all, over the world have made it more possible than even before for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Innovative in aviation has made it easier to travel across the globe and videos kind of media had made it easy to access although there are certain disadvantages associated with this trend, the upside in the case seem to outweigh the downside is it me leads various health issues and environmental lose. To begin, this trend does have a share of drawbacks for one, it may cause air pollution and noise pollution which leads to affects health related problems. Also, pollution affects our environment which is not good. Another negative aspect, is that it could harm the monuments, the people artefacts. Moreover, information of the people of other countries and certain informations get lead to which is harmful or could Degrade. Despite these drawbacks, however, a strong case for international travel and the widespread of famous kinds of mass media all around the globe has it easier to get information about any country. In addition to this media is going very fast which helps us to broaden one’s knowledge. With the help of latest information sources such as television, Internet etc. And which we got to know about their culture and traditions apart from this, tourism industry is booming these days which provide Jobs for many people. It can also be argued that, it makes us liberal, tolerant and adaptive which help helps ones to grow well. In conclusion, while, there are certain cons of this trend, it is largely beneficial as a boost tourism industry.
Innovative in aviation has made it easier to travel across the globe and videos kind of media had made it easy to access although there are certain disadvantages associated with this trend, the upside in the case seem to outweigh the downside is it me leads various health issues and environmental lose.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, this trend does have a share of drawbacks for one, it may cause air pollution and noise pollution which leads to affects health related problems.
Also
, pollution affects our environment which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect, is that it could harm the monuments, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of other countries and certain
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lead to which is harmful or could Degrade.

Despite these drawbacks,
however
, a strong case for international travel and
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
kinds of mass media all around the globe has it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about any country.
In addition
to this media is going
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to broaden one’s knowledge. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
sources such as television, Internet etc. And which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know about their culture and traditions apart from this, tourism industry is booming these days which provide Jobs for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It can
also
be argued
that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us liberal, tolerant and adaptive which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
ones to grow well.

In conclusion
, while, there are certain cons of this trend, it is
largely
beneficial as a boost tourism industry.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The ace of international travel and the spread of various kind of mass media all, over the world have made it more possible than even before for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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