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Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion. v.1

Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. v. 1
In the 21st century, where should the government invest money, is one of the most debatable topics. Numerous individuals assert that the more fund should be allocated to the medical facility to improve healthcare, while others differ with this belief. In my opinion, the government should divide the money proportionately into segments such as medical, education and construction. Admittedly, the healthcare facility in any country should be very well developed and the government should provide vital importance to this field. An adequate amount of money should be provided to the health department to expand facilities, so that pauper people can also get expensive medical treatments at low or free of cost. To illustrate, in countries like Canada, health care for elderly citizens is free, as the government is granting huge funds to the medical department. Thus, assigning proper money to the medical segment of the country is advantageous for domestic people. On the other side, apart from health care, there are other areas also, such as education and construction, where the uninterrupted focus of the government is required. These fields are indispensable for the development of any country as the development growth can be measured not only on good health care facilities but also on the rate of educated citizens and the construction of basic facilities such as roads and buildings. That is why the government should also distribute an ample amount of money to these segments as well. To conclude, there is no doubt that healthcare is crucial and the government should invest more in that department, but other facilities such as education and construction also are important for the nation.
In the 21st century, where should the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, is one of the most debatable topics. Numerous individuals assert that the more fund should
be allocated
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
healthcare, while others differ with this belief. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should divide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
proportionately
into segments such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
, education and construction.

Admittedly
, the healthcare facility in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide vital importance to this field. An adequate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be provided
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
department to expand facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that pauper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatments at low or free of cost. To illustrate, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Canada,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care for elderly citizens is free, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is granting huge funds to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
department.
Thus
, assigning proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
segment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is advantageous for domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas
also
, such as education and construction, where the uninterrupted focus of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is required
. These fields are indispensable for the development of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as the development growth can
be measured
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the rate of educated citizens and the construction of basic facilities such as roads and buildings.
That is
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
distribute an ample amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to these segments
as well
.

To conclude
, there is no doubt that healthcare is crucial and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest more in that department,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities such as education and construction
also
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the nation.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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