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The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvant v.1

The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvant v. 1
Owing to the fact that almost everyone nowadays desires to have freedom and comfort while commuting on the roads, there is an obvious rise in the number of private cars. However, some people think that owning a car can also bring some drawbacks. This essay will discuss both sides of this issue. On the one hand, there is no doubt that owning a car brings various benefits to its owner. Firstly, freedom of travelling is the most important advantage. Car owner has absolute freedom in deciding the schedule and route to reach their destination instead of depending on the schedule of a public transportations, which helps them not waste time on moving on the road. Secondly, in a private car, people do not have to worry about the dust and noise, while in public transportation, it is not always possible to avoid those. There are so many people on public transport, therefore, you will not have a quiet space to rest or do some things that require attention, such as reading books or listening to music. On the other hand, besides the advantages, having a car also brings some disadvantages. Initially, owning a car is extremely expensive and it requires additional costs to maintain and repair this car. In order to buy a car, people have to pay a huge money for the car’s price, tax and insurance cost. Even during their use, they also have to pay for fuel cost and car repairing. That is out of reach of the middle – class people. Another drawback of car owner is that he is particularly stressful when he drives his car. While driving, he must always be highly focused if he does not want to cause an accident, which makes him feel tired and stressed In conclusion, having a car brings both pros and cons to society. Each one should consider all factors carefully before making the right decision on whether buying a car or not.
Owing to the fact that almost everyone nowadays desires to have freedom and comfort while commuting on the roads, there is an obvious rise in the number of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. This essay will discuss both sides of this issue.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
various benefits to its owner.
Firstly
, freedom of travelling is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
owner has absolute freedom in deciding the schedule and route to reach their destination
instead
of depending on the schedule of a public
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "transportation"?
transportations
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them not waste time on moving on the road.
Secondly
, in a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the dust and noise, while in public transportation, it is not always possible to avoid those. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on public transport,
therefore
, you will not have a quiet space to rest or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that require attention, such as reading books or listening to music.

On the other hand
,
besides
the advantages, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Initially
, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is
extremely
expensive and it requires additional costs to maintain and repair this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge money".
a huge money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car’s
price, tax and insurance cost. Even during their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for fuel cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
repairing.
That is
out of reach of the middle
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owner is that he is
particularly
stressful when he drives his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. While driving, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always be
highly
focused if he does not want to cause an accident, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him feel tired and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stressed


In conclusion
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
both pros and cons to society. Each one should consider all factors
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the right decision on whether buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or not.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvant v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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