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The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. v.2

The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. v. 2
At recent years, most of the people started to know the cultures of other countries. It is caused by many aspects such as the ongoing growing in international travel and the continuous improvement of variation of media. Inevitably, I believe that this phenomenon is a positive development for several considerations given below. To begin with, people in all parts of the world will easily get familiar with other countries' way of life. They will gain acknowledgements relating to the variety of cultures, common beliefs, kinds of religions, even mindsets so they can obtain more wisdom thinking not to judge others by wrong or right. Moreover, they will understand the geographical conditions and typical rules and laws which are applied as in depth processes of learning other civilisations so they attain a complete condition of surroundings in other parts of the world. To end with, the economy impacts are also undeniable. The flights industry will thrive, the tourism places will be favourable; the providers of a tour guide will be profitable because people are eager to know more about other cultures by staying close to the original places. As the result, local communities will achieve more income as direct effect and will be aware of social-economy purposes as well as the need for educational capacities (for example, learning foreign languages, mastering calculations of revenues, etc. ) as indirectly long term impacts. As consequences, the governments together with city councils should pay more attentions to regulate and stay focus to this economy sector. To sum up, the advantages of knowing how other people live in other countries are inevitable so stakeholders are supposed to take responsibilities to maximise the result both social and economy benefits.
At recent years, most of the
people
started
to know the cultures of
other
countries. It
is caused
by
many
aspects such as the ongoing growing in international travel and the continuous improvement of variation of media.
Inevitably
, I believe that this phenomenon is a
positive
development for several considerations
given
below.

To
begin
with,
people
in all parts of the world will
easily
get
familiar with
other
countries' way of life. They will gain
acknowledgements
relating to the variety of cultures, common beliefs, kinds of religions, even mindsets
so
they can obtain more wisdom thinking not to judge others by
wrong
or right.
Moreover
, they will understand the geographical conditions and typical
rules
and laws which
are applied
as in depth processes of learning
other
civilisations
so
they attain a complete condition of surroundings in
other
parts of the world.

To
end
with, the economy impacts are
also
undeniable. The
flights
industry will thrive, the tourism places will be
favourable
; the providers of a tour guide will be profitable
because
people
are eager to know more about
other
cultures by staying close to the original places. As the result, local communities will achieve more income as direct effect and will be aware of social-economy purposes
as well
as the need for educational capacities (
for example
, learning foreign languages, mastering calculations of revenues, etc.
)
as
indirectly
long term impacts. As consequences, the
governments
together with city councils should pay more attentions to regulate and stay focus to this economy sector.

To sum up, the advantages of knowing how
other
people
live
in
other
countries are inevitable
so
stakeholders
are supposed
to take responsibilities to
maximise
the result both social and economy benefits.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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