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some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extend do you agree or disagree v.1

some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) v. 1
Nowadays, some students those who are studying at an advanced level, such as a university or college wish to provide volunteer services, and it should be the necessary work. I agree with the above statements by considering some factors. In general, after completing secondary educations, they are attending to the higher study, and they also will be able to build up the pleasant environment to be explored the world. Moreover, they are able to realise what they need to do something on behalf of the society. Consequently, they are trying to help them out. For instance, Organizing some seminars for the poor students, cleaning the environment, and etc. People, on the other hand, believe the high school students have much knowledge about the country as well as the government, so they are able to gather many persons for volunteer works. Moreover, community ready to pay attention to them as well. They have a good advantage to be successful as an organization by taking these resources. To conclude, The students those who are doing higher study, so they have good awareness and good environment to be organized the programmes. Furthermore, People believe their ability and the power of youth due to those facts. People always assume unpaid programs have been the compulsory part of the high school.
Nowadays,
some
students
those who are studying at an advanced level, such as a university or college wish to provide volunteer services, and it should be the necessary work. I
agree
with the above statements by considering
some
factors.

In general
, after completing secondary educations, they are attending to the higher study, and they
also
will be able to build up the pleasant environment to
be explored
the world.
Moreover
, they are able to
realise
what they need to do something on behalf of the society.
Consequently
, they are trying to
help
them out.
For instance
, Organizing
some
seminars for the poor
students
, cleaning the environment,
and etc
.

People
,
on the other hand
, believe the high school
students
have much knowledge about the country
as well
as the
government
,
so
they are able to gather
many
persons for volunteer works.
Moreover
, community ready to pay attention to them
as well
. They have a
good
advantage to be successful as an organization by taking these resources.

To conclude
, The
students
those who are doing higher study,
so
they have
good
awareness and
good
environment to
be organized
the
programmes
.
Furthermore
,
People
believe their ability and the power of youth due to those facts.
People
always assume unpaid programs have been the compulsory part of the high school.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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