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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 1
It is generally accepted by some people that there should be predetermined penalty for every form of unlawful act, while others disagree that the situation of each offence and the reason for performing the act should be considered when applying necessary discipline. In my opinion, there should be established retribution for each illegal act with allowance for exceptions as this will largely reduce crime rate and promote sanity in every community. Some believe that the absence of fix consequence for every offence has largely contributed to the global increase in crime rate. This was supported by the global crime report recently released by Smart Inc. – a US based research firm. The report stated that most of the atrocity committed in the last two decades have no moral justification whatsoever. It further asserted that series of investigations demonstrated that some of the convicted criminals confessed that they were motivated to commit these crimes because of the possibility of escaping the right judgement. On the other hand, another school of thought is of the opinion that the motive behind the act should not be completely separated from the act. This is because, sometimes, the unlawful acts are perpetrated when they are genuinely indisposed to do so. For instance, during a monthly radio crime program in Ghana, a man narrated his ordeal when he was attacked by thieves. He said these men had gained access to his compound with one of them already in his sitting room. Fortunately, while the others were trying to enter, the police men came around after they had been informed and this made the armed men to leave with the exception of one who he eventually killed. Although, he was condemned of murder, he was discharged and acquitted because the police attested to his innocence. In conclusion, I believe that there should be solid charge for every criminal act while provisions are given for certain acts proven beyond reasonable doubt of honesty.
It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that there should
be predetermined
penalty for every form of unlawful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
, while others disagree that the situation of each
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and the reason for performing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
should
be considered
when applying necessary discipline. In my opinion, there should
be established
retribution for each illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
with allowance for exceptions as this will
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate and promote sanity in every community.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that the absence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
consequence for every
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
has
largely
contributed to the global increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. This
was supported
by the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
report recently released by Smart Inc.
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a US based research firm. The report stated that most of the atrocity committed in the last two decades have no moral justification whatsoever. It
further
asserted that series of investigations demonstrated that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
convicted criminals confessed that they
were motivated
to commit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the possibility of escaping the right judgement.

On the other hand
, another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is of the opinion that the motive behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
should not be completely separated from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, the unlawful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
are perpetrated
when they are
genuinely
indisposed to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For instance
, during a monthly radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
program in Ghana, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
narrated his ordeal when he
was attacked
by thieves. He said these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had gained access to his compound with one of them already in his sitting room.
Fortunately
, while the others were trying to enter, the police
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
came around after they had
been informed
and this made the armed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
one who he
eventually
killed. Although, he
was condemned
of murder, he
was discharged
and acquitted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the police attested to his innocence.

In conclusion
, I believe that there should be solid charge for every criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
while provisions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
proven beyond reasonable doubt of honesty.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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