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That the government should be responsible for the education of it's citizen while others feel that they shud pay for their own education. Discuss both views and give ur opinion v.1

That the government should be responsible for the education of it's citizen while others feel that they shud pay for their own education. 1
It is often thought by some that it is the responsibility of the Government to provide education for its citizen. However, some proportion of the society has the view that that education should be paid for by people benefitting from it. In my opinion, I believe that paying the bill of education should be solely done by the people in order for them to appreciate it more. Those that are of the view that the Government should sponsor educating its subject believe so because education is one of the basic and essential things for a growing nation. This means that the lack of educated people due to unavailability of the fund might result in an undeveloped society. According to a recent survey carried out by the Ministry of Education in China found out that 80% of developed nations have an increasing number of elite people compared to those that do not have. Also, they believe it is right of the citizen to get free education from the fund generated from tax since they are the people that pay the tax. On the other hand, those are of the view that it is citizen responsibilities to fund their schooling and I agree to it. We believe that if people will place better value in what they. Pay for unlike getting it free of charge. In other words, people tend to appreciate what they have to work hard to earn, and education is not an exception. For example, studies have shown that most students in the private school excel well compared to students from Government-owned school, this is because they are footing the bill themselves. Furthermore, it is believed that the Government has more pressing things to focus on, such as, health and security issues in the nation, hence individuals should bear the cost of schooling. To conclude, While people have a varying opinion, I am of the view that people should be responsible for funding their education for them to appreciate it better.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for its citizen.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportion of the society has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be paid
for by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitting
from it. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that paying the bill of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
solely
done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order for them to appreciate it more.

Those that are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should sponsor educating its subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is one of the basic and essential things for a growing nation. This means that the lack of educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to unavailability of the fund might result in an undeveloped society. According to a recent survey carried out by the Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
in China found out that 80% of developed nations have an increasing number of elite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compared to those that do not have.
Also
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it is right of the citizen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from the fund generated from tax since they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that pay the tax.

On the other hand
, those are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that it is citizen responsibilities to fund their schooling and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to it. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will place better value in what they. Pay for unlike getting it free of charge.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to appreciate what they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not an exception.
For example
, studies have shown that most students in the private school excel well compared to students from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
school, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are footing the bill themselves.
Furthermore
, it
is believed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
has more pressing things to focus on, such as, health and security issues in the nation,
hence
individuals should bear the cost of schooling.

To conclude
, While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a varying opinion, I am of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be responsible for funding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for them to appreciate it better.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay That the government should be responsible for the education of it's citizen while others feel that they shud pay for their own education. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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