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In many countries, women and men are working full time. it is there fore logical for men and women to share household tasks. to what extent do you agree or disagree. v.5

In many countries, women and men are working full time. it is there fore logical for men and women to share household tasks. v. 5
Needless to emphasize, in many cities around the world now it is a practice that both men and women started to work equally. A lion's share of society agues that house chore should be shared between them. I completely concur with this belief and the following sections of the essay will expand my reasons in support of this notion. Indeed the group activity or shared work definitely would help the people to complete the task easily. Moreover, it would reduce the workload. For example, in a working family by both couples are doing their household works such as cooking, cleaning, gardening and so on would enhance the sense of caring as well as supportive mentality. Therefore the stress due to household chore could be reduced and the task would carry-out easily. Yet another advantage of the shared work approach would help to save time. These days due to the tight work schedule both names and females might become tired after duty and not have enough time to do housing tasks. It is difficult for one person to carry out the whole chores. To illustrate, if one member of the family, especially women taking care of all works means she would definitely become late for next day duty. Since both couples are participating in completing housework would eliminate the time shortage. Therefore, they would not delay their job. By dint of the aforementioned argument, I believe it is good to share all household tasks to reduce stress due to workload and to save time.
Needless to emphasize, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is a practice that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
equally
. A lion's share of society
Possible spelling mistake found.
agues
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chore should
be shared
between them. I completely concur with this belief and the following sections of the essay will expand my reasons in support of this notion.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
the group activity or shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
definitely would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
easily
.
Moreover
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the workload.
For example
, in a working family by both couples are doing their household works such as cooking, cleaning, gardening and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on would enhance the sense of caring
as well
as supportive mentality.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to household chore could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
would carry-out
easily
.

Yet
another advantage of the shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
approach would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. These days due to the tight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule both names and females might become tired after duty and not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
. It is difficult for one person to carry out the whole chores. To illustrate, if one member of the family,
especially
women taking care of all works means she would definitely become late for
next
day duty.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
both couples are participating in completing housework would eliminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
shortage.
Therefore
, they would not delay their job.

By dint of the aforementioned argument, I believe it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to share all household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to workload and to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay In many countries, women and men are working full time. it is there fore logical for men and women to share household tasks. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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