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Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. v. 2

Digitalised telecast of sporting events like Olympics being shown in the television impacts the younger generation who is unlikely to involve themselves in any kind of exercise boosts them up and urges them to involve in any forms of physical activity. In my opinion, this is not the case and I don't agree with this notion. Firstly, for a wellbeing of an individual in life we need to maintain our health. Indeed, exercise or any sporting events play a vital role here by burning unwanted calories we ate, In addition to that, it also reduces the stress that we tend to develop in our routine life. For instance, when an individual regularly does workouts his cholesterol levels in the body are maintained and he is less likely to get a cardiac arrest. Therefore, maintaining good health is the fundamental requirement in life. Secondly, the interest cannot be emphasised or insisted through external sources. A lot people in the society assume that watching sporting events and attending workshops or seminars would change the perception of the particular man and lead him to involve in any kind of fitness activities. For example, let us consider a guy who has an inadvertent attitude toward his health you cannot transform him by showing video clips or motivational speeches. Even though you make desperate efforts, he would end up remaining as a mediocre. In conclusion, the idea of being fit and following a healthy lifestyle is a matter of choice of individuals, Unless that particular person is aware of it no one in this world or any multimedia sources can modify them.

IELTS essay Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Digitalised
telecast of sporting
events
like Olympics
being shown
in the television
impacts the younger generation who is unlikely to involve themselves in any kind of exercise boosts them up and urges them to involve in any forms of physical activity. In my opinion, this is not the case and I don't
agree
with this notion.
Firstly
, for a
wellbeing
of an individual in life we need to maintain our health.
Indeed
, exercise or any sporting
events
play a vital role here by burning unwanted calories we ate,
In addition
to that, it
also
reduces
the
stress
that we tend to develop in our routine life.
For instance
, when an individual
regularly
does workouts his cholesterol levels in the body are
maintained and
he is less likely to
get
a cardiac arrest.
Therefore
, maintaining
good
health is the fundamental requirement in life.
Secondly
, the interest cannot be
emphasised
or insisted through external sources. A lot
people
in the society assume that watching sporting
events
and attending workshops or seminars would
change
the perception of the particular
man
and lead him to involve in any kind of fitness activities.
For example
,
let
us consider a guy who has an inadvertent attitude toward his health you cannot transform him by showing video clips or motivational speeches.
Even though
you
make
desperate efforts, he would
end
up remaining as
a mediocre
.
In conclusion
, the
idea
of
being fit
and following a healthy lifestyle is a matter of choice of individuals, Unless that particular person is aware of it no one in this world or any multimedia sources can modify them.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
4 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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