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Television Sporting shows such as the olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion. v.1

Television Sporting shows such as the olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion. v. 1
It is undeniable that we live in a fast forward world where no one has time to exercise or to participate in any other supplement matters. There is a general statement that telecasting sports on television channels might yearn the youngsters to participate in one and keep fit. I do agree with the statement as it is, in my opinion, one of the various options available. To embark on, it is a universal consensus that even the low-born people might have a low-budget television in their homes. Thus, it is inevitable that almost every one of us, especially the youth, spend at least a few minutes daily watching different programs on television after a tiring day. Therefore, casting sports events such as football, cricket, hockey and other athletic meets seems like a sensible idea. This is because media’s effort to telecast consecutive and live sports might motivate the adults to think that they should partake in it and become proud of the nation if possible or at least to involve in any one of the games to maintain fitness in the worst case. On the contrary, the opponents might proclaim some drawbacks such as youngsters appears to waste time sitting in front of the television rather than studying. However, in my viewpoint, one has to be healthy to focus on his academics and to do so, that person needs concentration which can be acquired through regular exercise as it is proved by experts. Although there are some concerns from the cite of critics, I believe that television shows broadcasting sport is a straight forward move to encourage the adults and an appreciable one if it comes to action. In conclusion, it is virtually certain that sports can remain as a motivational factor even for those who are not much interested provided the television shows present it with high frequency and good quality.
It is undeniable that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
fast forward
world where no one has time to exercise or to participate in any other supplement matters. There is a general statement that telecasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
yearn the youngsters to participate in one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as it is, in my opinion, one of the various options available.

To embark on, it is a universal consensus that even the low-born
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have a low-budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in their homes.
Thus
, it is inevitable that almost every one of us,
especially
the youth, spend at least a few minutes daily watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
programs on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
after a tiring day.
Therefore
, casting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as football, cricket, hockey and other athletic meets seems like a sensible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
media’s effort to telecast consecutive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
motivate the adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should partake in it and become proud of the nation if possible or at least to involve in any one of the games to maintain fitness in the worst case.

On the contrary
, the opponents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
proclaim
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as youngsters appears to waste time sitting in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
rather
than studying.
However
, in my viewpoint, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be healthy to focus on his academics and to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, that person needs concentration which can
be acquired
through regular exercise as it
is proved
by experts. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns from the cite of critics, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a straight forward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to encourage the adults and an appreciable one if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to action.

In conclusion
, it is
virtually
certain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can remain as a motivational factor even for those who are not much interested provided the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
present it with high frequency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Television Sporting shows such as the olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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