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In many wealthy countries, there are more homeless people than ever. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to solve this problem? v. 1

There are a number of people without property to stay and this mostly happens in the highly developed nations. In the essay, I intend to explore this problem along with some possible solutions to it. Chief among the causes of this problem is that people cannot get any jobs due to high competition in adopted countries, which ends up pushing them into living on the streets. For instance, many newcomers move from the home nations to affluent ones for better opportunities in order to change their original lives. Nevertheless, the fact is extremely cruel as without any educational degree, people are hard to get high-paid jobs. This, hence, might result in people do not have enough money to pay their rent or afford any houses and then are forced to stay on the streets. Another contributing factor is that children who face domestic violence or mental health issues at home might drive them onto the streets as well. In order to resolve the homeless issue, I believe we must primary address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective methods of doing this would be for the government to provide permanent supportive houses for people, such as elders and refugees. One further measure could be for children to get supported by teachers. For example, teachers at schools can educate pupils on how to deal with domestic violence and offer psychological guidance. To introduce those solutions, I personally believe that not only tackle the issue of homeless people but also increase those wealthy nation's reputations. In conclusion, the fact that this problem is unlikely to be resolved in the short term. However, it is my personal belief that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.

IELTS essay In many wealthy countries, there are more homeless people than ever. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to solve this problem? v.1

There are a number of
people
without property to stay and this
mostly
happens in the
highly
developed nations. In the essay, I intend to explore this problem along with
some
possible solutions to it. Chief among the causes of this problem is that
people
cannot
get
any jobs due to high competition in adopted countries, which ends up pushing them into living on the streets.
For instance
,
many
newcomers
move
from the home nations to affluent ones for better opportunities in order to
change
their original
lives
.
Nevertheless
, the fact is
extremely
cruel as without any educational degree,
people
are
hard
to
get
high-paid jobs. This,
hence
, might result in
people
do not have
enough
money to pay their rent or afford any
houses
and then
are forced
to stay on the streets. Another contributing factor is that children who face domestic violence or mental health issues at home might drive them onto the streets
as well
. In order to resolve the homeless issue, I believe we
must primary
address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective methods of doing this would be for the
government
to provide permanent supportive
houses
for
people
, such as elders and refugees. One
further
measure could be for children to
get
supported by teachers.
For example
, teachers at schools can educate pupils on how to deal with domestic violence and offer psychological guidance. To introduce those solutions, I
personally
believe that not
only
tackle the issue of homeless
people
but
also
increase those wealthy nation's reputations.
In conclusion
, the fact that this problem is unlikely to
be resolved
in the short term.
However
, it is my personal belief that the measures outlined above would constitute a
good
first
step.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
4 paragraphs
286 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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