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In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the governmental should spend more on health and education. v. 2

According to many people, investing money on the arts is a waste of money. They claim that the government’s expenditure should be used more for public services like hospital and school. This essay will discuss both sides and give reasons why I think health and education is more important to be financed than others. On the one hand, art is an essential section in human life. It helps people express feeling which language cannot provide. For instance, an artist can bring the moods of scenes into a painting, they can evoke our feelings of joy, happiness or even sadness. Another reason of sponsoring arts is it can spread the culture and lifestyle of a country. For example, Korea has been very successful in bringing their culture to the World which rely on their music and film. Therefore, not only arts promote culture among society, it also help country’s economic developments. On the other hand, I suppose that there are more important to spend a significant amount of the government budget on social health. First of all, a wealth country doesn't only depend on the growing of economics, but also on the quality of citizens life. In specific, if a child is cared for by a good education and well- developed health system, he will become a useful person in society. Secondly, allocating national funds to education and the health sector can certainly contribute to the technological improvements which arts can not accomplish. As an example, funding educational institutes for the poor can decrease the number of illiteracies or unemployments. To conclude, even though the arts are important for expressing different humanity's realities, a proper medical care system and quality literacy are core necessities for a country. Then, I believe that the state should invest more on well-being and schooling than on the arts.

IELTS essay In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the governmental should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

According to
many
people
, investing money on the arts is a waste of money. They claim that the
government
’s expenditure should be
used
more for public services like hospital and school. This essay will discuss both sides and give reasons why I
think
health and
education
is more
important
to
be financed
than others. On the one hand, art is an essential section in human life. It
helps
people
express feeling which language cannot provide.
For instance
, an artist can bring the moods of scenes into a painting, they can evoke our feelings of joy, happiness or even sadness. Another reason of sponsoring arts is it can spread the culture and lifestyle of a country.
For example
, Korea has been
very
successful in bringing their culture to the World which rely on their music and film.
Therefore
, not
only
arts promote culture among society, it
also
help
country’s economic developments.
On the other hand
, I suppose that there are more
important
to spend a significant amount of the
government
budget on social health.
First of all
, a wealth country doesn't
only
depend on the growing of economics,
but
also
on the quality of citizens life. In specific, if a child
is cared
for by a
good
education
and well- developed health system, he will become a useful person in society.
Secondly
, allocating national funds to
education
and the health sector can
certainly
contribute to the technological improvements which arts can not accomplish. As an example, funding educational institutes for the poor can decrease the number of
illiteracies
or
unemployments
.
To conclude
,
even though
the arts are
important
for expressing
different
humanity's realities, a proper medical care system and quality literacy are core necessities for a country. Then, I believe that the state should invest more on well-being and schooling than on the arts.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
4 paragraphs
303 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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